Sinside Out
by sleepy-emo
Summary: Hi. My name is Envy and this sack of bones I'm piloting is Ed. Me and my six mates live inside Ed's head and control what he does. Everything was going great until Lust decided that the six foot three beefcake, Roy Mustang was going to be the new object of Ed's affection. Now I'm working over time and still trying to hold Ed together while I'm falling apart... oh God...
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, it's me again :D so this was inspired by the Pixar film 'Inside Out' as I thought 'hey what if the homunculi from FMA lived inside Ed's head and piloted his every move'... this cluster-fuck that's what haha. Everything in italics is outside of Ed's head, everything not is inside. This is definitely a comedy so these guys aren't evil, just very dysfunctional. Hope you all enjoy :D**

 _"Roy is not a sexy name," Ed said as he and Winry walked out of one of the University's lecture halls after their class had finished. "It's like a name you'd see on someone the wrong side of seventy."_

 _"It can be a sexy name," Winry said. "Any name can be sexy, you just have to moan it right."_

 _"Nope, no way. There are some names that just aren't sexy; Roy is one of them," Ed said. "It's a name you'd give a dog or a granddad name, not a name you call out in the throws of passion."_

 _"And Edward is?" Winry teased, giving him a playful shove._

 _"I never said it was," Ed replied as they began climbing the stairs that led to the centre of campus._

 _"Hey do you think that's why we didn't work out?" Winry asked, grinning at him. Ed rolled his eyes._

 _"Yes it's because I have an unsexy name, it had nothing to do with my raging homosexuality," he replied._

* * *

"I'm with Ed on this one," I said leaning back in my chair and looking over my shoulder at Lust. "Roy is not a sexy name."

"Like Winry said," she replied, shrugging and smirking at me. "Any name can be sexy."

"Whatever," I said turning back to the huge screen that looked out through Ed's eyes allowing us to see everything he did.

Hey, my name is Envy and, along with my six friends, I live inside Ed's head. Our job is to make sure Ed's life runs as smoothly as it possibly can by how we get him to react to outside influences. This is often quite difficult (but that's because my co-workers are mostly idiots) but I just about keep everything together and make it work. I was content to turn my attention back to the conversation at hand when I felt my chair suddenly pulled out from underneath me.

I fell to the floor with a very undignified yelp, landing on my backside. I rubbed the base of my spine as I felt the dull throb of pain starting and glared up to see Greed smirking down at me. God I hate that dick-head! Out of everyone I live with in here he is the one I hate the most (mostly because he doesn't seem to do anything aside from annoy the ever loving fuck out of me and strut around like he owns the place).

"So what are we talking about?" he asked leaning back in the chair and placing his feet on top of the Control Panel.

"Whether Roy is a sexy name or not," Lust told him. "And don't put your feet on the Control Panel, you'll break something." As she spoke she gave him a clip round the side of the head and he obediently put his feet down. I always did wonder how she got him to just do things like that but it was probably because she kept beating him.

"Really?" Greed asked sceptically. "That's boring."

"Then fuck off out of my chair," I told him, getting to my feet. Greed glared at me then cast a glance at Lust over my shoulder and thought better than to do whatever it was he had thought about doing. He stood up, muttering under his breath. "Yeah that's what I thought," I muttered glaring after him as I sat back down. Now I was going to relax and go back to listening to Ed and Winry''s conversation.

"Hey Envy?" a high pitched voice asked and I felt my entire body tense up.

"Yes Gluttony," I said through gritted teeth.

"Is it time for lunch yet?" he asked.

"No," I replied. Next to Greed Gluttony is one of the biggest thorns in my side. Much like Greed he doesn't do anything aside from annoy me to hell and back by constantly asking when the next meal is.

"But I'm so hungry," Gluttony whined. I took a deep breath, counting to ten in my head so that I didn't turn around and rip his head off. I wasn't going to lose my cool because Gluttony was being an irritating shit-heel. A sudden thought hit me that would get him to leave me alone for a couple of hours at the very least.

"Hey Gluttony why don't you go see if Sloth has anything shiny you can play with until lunchtime?" I told him. Gluttony's eyes lit up (I'm telling you – attention span of a goldfish) and he ran off to go and find Sloth. I sighed and collapsed forward onto the Control Panel, being careful not to hit any of the buttons.

"You know Sloth is going to be really pissed at you," Lust told me, a hint of amusement in her voice. I looked up to see her perch on the edge of the Control Panel, smiling at me.

"Eh?" I shrugged. "He could do with doing something every once in a while." I don't mind Sloth. Sloth is alright; he doesn't do a lot but, unlike Greed and Gluttony, he isn't a fucking pest about it. He keeps himself to himself and occasionally comes out after a period of massive amounts of stress when the rest of us are too whipped to do anything and has Ed watching re-runs of Pingu in his boxers for an entire day.

"So has Winry convinced him yet?" Lust asked.

"Convinced him what?" I returned.

"That Roy is a sexy name."

"It's not."

"Do you even have a concept of sexy?" she asked.

"Of course I do," I replied. She snorted, looking me up and down.

"I'll be more convinced when you get better fashion sense," she told me. I gave her a playful shove and she returned with one of her own. I like Lust, she's fun. I mean at first I was a bit weary as she was the only chick in a head full of dudes but when Ed turned thirteen and she suddenly appeared I knew I was going to have to get used to her. She keeps me sane though; it's nice to have someone else competent on the team even if it did mean that Ed's choice of sexual partners led to him being bullied most of the way through his mid-teens.

"Will you two keep it down please?" Wrath asked from his armchair, looking over the top of his newspaper, interrupting our shove war. "I'm trying to read the paper." Lust grinned at me before smiling sweetly at Wrath.

"Sorry Wrath," she said. "We will try to keep the noise to a minimum."

"Thank you," he replied and turned back to his newspaper. I held in my chuckle as best I could. Wrath had mellowed so much in recent years he had basically become a middle-aged man (and he even looked the part too). In all fairness he had every reason to; he had basically spent six years working overtime.

When Ed was ten his mother died and his dad, who had proved to only be a useless fuck up until that point suddenly decided that he wanted to be part of Ed's life again. Ed wasn't having any of it but because he was too young to look after himself and his brother Al he had become this tiny ball of rage and anger. Then when Ed turned eighteen, and didn't legally have to stay with Hoenhiem any longer, he moved out and Wrath went on an indefinite holiday, the only thing bothering Ed these days are cracks about his diminutive height.

"Okay so how many sexy 'Roy's do you actually know?" I asked Lust turning back to the screen.

"Plenty," she replied.

"Okay name me one," I told her.

"Name you one what?" a final voice asked. I looked over my shoulder to see Pride standing behind me. Oh yay... this little douche-nozzle.

"Sexy 'Roy's," Lust told him.

"Oh... why?" he asked.

"Because Palm Tree over here agrees with Ed that it's not a name one calls out during the throws of passion," she replied.

"Ed never calls out names during the throws of passion," Pride huffed.

"You keep telling yourself that Squirt," I said, turning back to the screen. If Pride was here then I really was going to ignore everyone and return to Ed and Winry's conversation. While Pride actually does things in relation to the running of Ed's life, unlike some of the others, he's often more of a hindrance than a help (and by 'often' I mean all the fucking time). Plus he's a self entitled little shit and never listens to a word I say despite the fact that I'm supposed to be the one leading this operation.

* * *

 _"There are plenty of smoking hot people with not what you would consider conventionally sexy names," Winry stated._

 _"Like who?" Ed asked._

 _"Jason Donovan," Winry replied._

 _"Jason Donovan was sexy in the eighties," Ed said._

 _"Yeah but Jason still isn't a conventionally sexy name," Winry pointed out. Ed thought about that for a moment._

 _"True but I still don't quite see your point," he said._

 _"You're not thinking about all the ways in which you can make someone's name sound incredibly hot," Winry said._

 _"Whatever," he said shaking his head. "Point me in the direction of a sexy Roy and then I will believe you."_

 _"What about him?" Winry asked pointing across the courtyard at two men standing near the entrance to the Politics Department. One of them had long, dark hair tied back into a sleek ponytail and a very smug look in his eye, as if he thought he was above everyone and everything around him. Ed certainly hoped Winry wasn't talking about him..._

 _"Which one am I supposed to be looking at?" Ed asked. Please don't be tall, dark and creepy. Please don't be tall, dark and creepy._

 _"The one with the short hair," Winry replied. Thank god! Not tall, dark and creepy. Ed turned to the other man. He was tall, well built and had short black hair that fell in front of his eyes giving him a slightly dishevelled look._

* * *

"Oh my god, he's gorgeous!" Lust cried, slamming her hands down on the top of the Control Panel.

"Hey watch it!" I cried as she narrowly missed hitting a few buttons. Lust wasn't listening, she was too busy staring, open mouthed, at the six foot two beefcake Winry had pointed out. She turned to stare at me, a manic look in her eye.

"We have to go over and talk to him," she said.

"And say what?" I asked.

"You let me worry about that," she said waving me off. "I just want to see if I can get enough information to find out if he'd be interested in Ed."

"You can work out if he's gay from one conversation?" Pride asked sceptically.

"Believe me I can," she smirked pushing her breasts together. "You just have to learn how to use your assets."

"You realise Ed doesn't have tits, right?" Greed stated.

"Trust me," Lust said, ignoring him and turning back to the screen. "One conversation and I'll know if Ed's in with a chance."

"I don't know how much I like the look of this guy," I stated.

"You don't like the look of anyone Ed becomes romantically involved with," Lust scoffed.

"I do too!"

"No you don't," she laughed.

"I like Winry," I stated.

"Winry doesn't count," Pride pointed out. "Ed dated her for a week when they were twelve and he doesn't even like girls."

"Can it Squirt," I told him.

"What about Russell?" Lust asked.

"Russell was an arse," I replied.

"Russell was perfectly nice," she said. "He just moved across the country and they wouldn't have been able to make a long distance relationship work."

"Could have done if he really wanted to," I pouted and turned back to the screen. She wasn't wrong; there was no way that Ed and Russell would have been able to make a long distance relationship work at fifteen when they probably wouldn't have been able to see each other until one of them learnt how to drive. The whole conversation had been really hard on Ed though because Russell had been the first guy that Ed had really been attracted to. He had told everyone that he was fine (thanks for that Pride) but I had asked Lust to cool it for a while after that; not quite so hard so fast next time. Apparently she thought she had behaved for long enough. "This is going to suck..." I muttered.

* * *

 _"Who's he?" Ed asked._

 _"That is Roy Mustang," Winry said smirking at Ed's slightly slack-jawed expression. "He's a second year PHD student."_

 _"How do you know second year PHD students?" Ed asked._

 _"I met him during Fresher's Week," Winry replied shrugging._

 _"When? I was with you all of Fresher's Week," Ed said. "I'm sure I would have remembered someone who looked like that."_

 _"It was the night I went to the Art Exchange and you went to some physics thing in the SU Bar," she said shrugging. "He was there and we ended up chatting about the exhibit. No idea who his friend is though."_

 _"His friend looks a bit creepy," Ed observed._

 _"Let's go say hi," Winry said grinning. She grabbed Ed's hand and pulled him in the direction of the two men. "Hey Roy!" she called, waving as they got closer to them. Roy turned and smiled when he saw who was calling him._

 _"Winry," he said. "It's nice to see you again."_

 _"Okay," Ed muttered softly so that only Winry would hear him. "Now that's a sexy Roy."_

 _"Told you," she smirked back. She smiled warmly at Roy as they reached him. "You too, how have you been?"_

 _"Very well, thank you," Roy replied. "And yourself?"_

 _"I'm great thanks," she told him. "This is my friend Ed." She gave a Ed a small shove in Roy's direction. Ed shot her a look of surprise before turning to look shyly up at Roy. Roy looked him up and down as if appraising him, drinking every inch of him in, and a small smirk spread across his lips. Ed swallowed._

 _"It's nice to meet you Ed," he said, his voice like silk. "That would be short for Edward I imagine?"_

 _"Y... yes," Ed replied a little breathlessly. The way his name sounded spoken in that rich, deep voice was stunning. Someone cleared their throat beside them and Roy seemed to snap back to reality._

 _"Sorry," he said turning to Winry and the other man. "This is Solf J. Kimblee, second year PHD like myself. This is Winry Rockbell, first year, and her friend... I'm sorry I didn't catch your surname."_

 _"Elric," Ed said still a little more breathless than he would like. "My name is Ed Elric, I'm a first year."_

 _"The genius?" Kimblee asked raising an eyebrow at Ed._

 _"I wouldn't say that," Ed replied, shuffling awkwardly. Why did this keep coming up when people found out who he was?_

 _"Really?" Kimblee asked. "Because I heard you were taking third year modules as part of your first year course."_

 _"Okay well that is true," Ed admitted. Roy raised an eyebrow and turned to Ed, smirking again._

 _"Well I had no idea I was in the presence of a genius," he said smoothly. "You must allow me to watch you work sometime. I imagine seeing that brain at work is surely a sight to behold." Ed felt his face begin to heat up._

 _"O... kay..." he said softly._

* * *

"Okay this guy clearly wants to stick his dick in Ed and I'd be quite happy to let that happen," Lust said.

"You're terrible," I told her.

"This guy has a way with words and look at this!" She pressed a button on the Control Panel and brought up Ed's stats in the bottom corner of the screen. "Elevated heart rate, shortness of breath, blood rushing to his face; Ed's already reacting to this guy I just need to give him that extra little push."

She leaned over the Control Panel and was about to start fiddling with the buttons that I knew would fill Ed with an attraction towards Roy. Before she could though, I stood up and placed my hands in front of hers. She sighed and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. She didn't even have to say anything, she just had that look in her eye that said she was going to do what she wanted no matter what I said but I felt I should at least try and talk some sense into her first.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't it be?" she countered.

"Because..." I began but I couldn't think of a better reason than I just didn't like the look of him. Lust smirked triumphantly at me.

"He's tall, he's hot, he's smart, he's got a silver tongue that is more than likely useful for way more than just words and he's attracted to Ed."

"Yeah but..."

"Have you seen how hot this guys is?" she asked as if that was the deciding factor.

"Can't we just think logically about this for a second?" I asked. Lust smirked at me,clearly meaning 'no we can't', and began typing in a sequence on the Control Panel. She finished typing and held her hand over the button that would enter the sequence making Ed properly attracted to Roy. She smirked at me again and I raised an eyebrow at her. "Hoe don't to it."

"Too late," she sang hitting the button.

"I hate you," I stated. She just laughed.

* * *

 _"So Ed would you like to maybe get a cup of coffee with me sometime?" Roy asked. Ed blanched, shocked that someone as stunning as Roy seemed to be interested in him. "Because I'd very much like to get to know you and even discuss the fundamentals of science if you're up to the challenge."_

 _"Um..." Ed began. He could barely think; his head was spinning and Roy's voice was all he could focus on. He snapped back to reality as he felt Winry's elbow digging into the middle of his spine. He jumped, shooting a glare at her over his shoulder. She gave him a pointed look that said 'answer him you idiot'. Ed turned back to Roy and tried to smile despite his nerves. "Yeah that would be nice."_

 _"Wonderful," Roy said smiling. "I would certainly be very interested in seeing that brain of yours in action, along with the rest of you as well."_

 _Did he just..._

 _Ed's face caught fire. No he couldn't have meant anything like that; Winry and Kimblee were still standing right there! Kimblee rolled his eyes. So clearly he was used to Roy's antics, he was sick of Roy's antics and Roy had meant exactly that._

 _"Well I..." Ed spluttered. He was blushing right up to his ears and he could feel his knees shaking a little._

 _"Hey Mustang..." Kimblee said almost reminding Roy that he was still there. "Class." Roy simply smirked, amused with the reaction he was eliciting. He pulled a pen out of his coat pocket before taking Ed's hand. Ed could feel his skin tingling wherever Roy touched as he pushed the sleeve of Ed's jacket up and wrote his phone number down onto his forearm._

 _"Give me a call sometime and we can sort out a date for that coffee," he said._

 _"Okay," Ed said softly, unable to do anything other than stare, wide eyed, up into Roy's impeccably handsome face._

 _"Come on Mustang," Kimblee said in a bored voice. "We're going to be late for a lecture if you don't wrap it up."_

 _"Fine," Roy sighed theatrically, as if leaving was such a chore. He released Ed's arm and gave a loose lock of his hair a gentle tug. "See you around Ed. Bye Winry," he added, the timbre of his voice changing, becoming lighter and less sultry as he smiled at her._

 _"Bye Roy," she smiled at him, waving as he and Kimblee turned and went through the doors into the Politics Department._

 _"Oh wow!" Ed whispered letting out the breath he didn't realise he had been holding. God, he hadn't been this affected by someone upon first meeting them since he was fourteen and had bumped into his gorgeous next door neighbour; a guy named Jean Havoc who was twice his age, smoked like a chimney and spoke to Ed like he was an adult rather than just another awkward teenager._

 _"Changed your mind then?" Winry asked smirking and giving him a playful bump on the shoulder. Ed jumped back to himself._

 _"About what?" he asked trying to hurriedly compose himself._

 _"About Roy being a sexy name," she chuckled._

 _"Okay," Ed said. "I will admit that one was rather sexy."_

 _"Rather sexy?" Winry asked incredulously. "You should see the colour of your face right now." Ed pressed the back of his hand to one of his burning cheeks._

 _"I'd rather not thank you," he mumbled. "Can we talk about something else?"_

 _"How about all the implications behind asking someone out for coffee?" Winry suggested grinning wickedly as they began to make their way away from the Politics department and towards the outskirts of campus._

 _"I hate you," Ed stated. Winry cackled._

* * *

"Oh my god!" I said, slamming my face into the Control Panel as Lust laughed behind me. "That could not have been any more embarrassing!"

"Look on the bright side," she said whipping her eyes. "At least we know there is a chance that Ed's going to get some."

"You have no idea just how much I hate you right now," I stated glaring at the screen. I wasn't even going to give her the satisfaction of turning around and letting her see just how annoyed I was although I was pretty sure that she already knew. She gave me a playful slap on the shoulder with the back of her hand.

"Oh stop being such a spoil sport," she told me. "Everything is going to be fine, just you wait and see."

"If you fucking say so," I replied. Her only response was a chuckle. I hate my co-workers sometimes...


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, next chapter up, all I will say is poor Envy - he has really terrible co-workers haha anyway hope you enjoy :D**

 _"So Ed," Roy asked looking at him over the rim of his coffee cup, a seductive gleam in his eyes. "Tell me about yourself."_

 _"There's not much to tell really," Ed said shuffling nervously. With Roy's beautiful onyx eyes boring into him like that he felt like he was completely exposed. Suddenly the idea of those eyes staring down at him as he lay on Roy's bed, panting and naked, began to form in his mind. He bit his lip as he felt his stomach clench._

 _"Now that can't be true," Roy said, a small smile playing about his lips. "I'm sure there's plenty locked away inside that head of yours." Ed blushed. Roy had a voice like silk and Ed's ears tingled with every word he said._

 _"Okay," he said rubbing that back of his neck. "Well my name is Ed, but you already know that, I'm 21 and I've been studying physics since I was a kid. I've always found it fascinating ever since I used to watch those science programs where they blew up caravans when I was about five. I like really good coffee, listening to heavy metal music and I have a bit of a fascination for classic cars."_

 _"Well this might be of interest to you," Roy said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped through it before turning it to face Ed. On the screen was a photo of a beautiful sky-blue car with chrome wings on the rear. Ed's mouth fell open in surprise and awe as he stared at the photo and he let out a sharp intake of breath._

 _"Is that a 1975 Ford Mustang?" he asked staring up at Roy with wide eyes._

 _"It is," Roy replied._

 _"How did you come across a car like that?" Ed asked. "You can't even find anyone willing to sell one on the internet anymore."_

 _"Originally it belonged to my grandfather," Roy said putting his phone away. "He gave it to my for my seventeenth birthday when I started learning to drive. I've made sure that I have kept it in the best condition possible because, much like yourself, I have somewhat of a fascination with classic cars."_

 _"How is it?" Ed asked, biting his lips to keep himself from getting too excited._

 _"It drives like an absolute dream," Roy replied. "Back seat is also very roomy." He smirked and Ed understood the meaning behind his words. Occasionally Roy would throw in a subtle innuendo like that and Ed felt his face heating up. He hoped that his face wasn't as red as it felt but, judging by the smirk on Roy's face, it probably was._

* * *

"This guy is an utter douche-bag!" I cried gesturing towards Roy on the screen.

"Oh yeah?" Lust asked smirking at me with a raised eyebrow. "And what are you basing this observation on?"

"Would you like a list?" I asked incredulously.

"Enlighten me," Lust said with disinterest, examining her nails.

"Okay so he's conceited," I began counting reasons off on my fingers. "Everything he says is a double entendre, he's attractive but he's very aware of that fact and of the affect he has on people, he's clearly in love with himself and he drives a fucking car named after himself. Can you be anymore of a bell-end?"

"Well that certainly is a list," Wrath stated barely looking up from his newspaper.

"So you agree with me?" I asked turning to him.

"I did not say that," Wrath replied, turning the page and still not taking his eyes off the paper. "I could not care less one way or the other. You are talking very loudly and I'm just making an observation."

"Thank you for that," I replied exhaling pointedly and turning back to Lust. "You see my point though?" She shrugged and flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"I see you trying to make a point," she replied. "You must be losing your touch because it's not a very good one and your argument is invalid."

"Excuse me they are all very valid points," I said. "Are we not watching the same conversation here?"

"If you say so," Lust chuckled softly. I narrowed my eyes at her and growled softly. Cheeky bitch.

"Let's just watch the rest of the conversation, shall we?" I suggested and turned back to the screen. Lust just chuckled.

"Clearly loosing your touch," she said. Cheeky bitch...

* * *

 _"So what about you?" Ed asked tentatively, running the tip of his finger around the rim of his mug._

 _"What as Winry told you about me?" Roy asked._

 _"Just that you're a second year PHD student," Ed said._

 _"Good," Roy chuckled, "she left me some air of mystery. Yes I am currently a second year PHD student studying politics. Very fascinating if you like politics. I enjoy the finer things in life; fine coffee, fine cars, fine company..." As he said that he reached over and brushed Ed's fringe out of his eyes. A soft gasp left Ed's lips and he tried not lean into Roy's touch. He could feel his face heating up again. He would not have been surprised to discover that he had resembled a postbox since Roy had started talking._

 _"And I'm fine company?" he asked. A small smirk playing about his lips as Roy began to play with a lock of his hair that had fallen out of his ponytail._

 _"You are exquisite company," Roy said, his voice smooth and rich. "The kind of company I would very much like to keep long into the small hours of the morning."_

 _"Meaning?" Ed asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He was pretty sure that he knew the meaning behind Roy's words but he wanted confirmation. He wanted to make sure he wasn't imagining things._

 _"Oh I think you understand my meaning perfectly," Roy all by purred. Ed's eyes widened as that sunk in. Roy wanted to... Oh god! "You are stunning to look at, by the sounds of it you have a first rate mind and you already fascinate me."_

 _"I do?" Ed asked. He wasn't used to praise like this; the way compliments rolled off Roy's tongue with such ease, like praising Ed was second nature to him. Roy chuckled softly and gave the lock of hair he had been playing with a gentle tug._

 _"Certainly," he said. "I mean just looking at you now is quite a sight but I imagine you out of those clothes is something spectacular to behold."_

 _"Oh!" Ed squeaked, jerking back and letting his hair slip out of Roy's fingers. "Well I... I don't..." Roy chuckled again._

 _"Does it intimidate you when I talk like this?" he asked._

 _"N... no," Ed stammered. "I'm just not used to it, that's all. I've only ever really done things like... that with ex-boyfriends, who I'd been with for a while."_

 _"Really?" Roy asked. He seemed surprised by this._

 _"What?" Ed asked._

 _"I would have thought you would be used to the attention."_

 _"Not really," Ed replied. "I mean sometimes but not very often." Roy seemed to think for a moment, as if weighing up what he was going to say and choosing his words carefully._

 _"I'm going to be frank with you then," he began. "You're hot and I really want to fuck you but I'm not looking for a relationship."_

 _"O... kay," Ed said slowly, processing Roy's words._

 _"It's perfectly simple," Roy said when Ed made no other response. "I'm attracted to you, I'm almost certain you're attracted to me."_

 _"I am," Ed said. There was no use denying it; Roy knew, Winry knew, in fact Ed would be surprised if the entire café didn't know._

 _"The only thing that would be different from your past experiences would be that we wouldn't be in a conventional relationship," Roy said. Ed didn't respond. He didn't know what he could say to that. He had never slept with someone who he wasn't in a relationship with before. The prospect was almost frightening. "That isn't a problem for you, is it?" Roy asked when Ed still failed to respond._

* * *

"Yes," I practically screamed at the screen. "Yes it's a god-damn problem, I am not okay with this!"

"What are you on about now?" Lust asked rolling her eyes at me.

"Seriously are we not listening to the same conversation?" I asked turning to stare, incredulously, at her.

"So he doesn't want a relationship," she shrugged. "Is it really such a big deal?"

"Of course it's a big deal," I said. "Ed has never done anything like this before. He's only ever had sex with people he's been in a relationship with and only then after he'd been with them for a couple of weeks first at least. Ed doesn't do 'no strings attached' and certainly not with someone he's only just met."

"Then maybe he should," she said. "Isn't that what university is supposed to be about; trying new experiences.

"It would be if this one wasn't so fucking boring," Greed said sticking his thumb in my direction as he went to flop down on the sofa, kicking his legs out and opening a magazine. I shot a glare at him.

"I'm just looking out for Ed's best interests," I said. "I don't want him to get hurt because of a reckless decision we made without really thinking about it first." Greed just rolled his eyes and turned back to his magazine. "Are you reading 'Modern Living'?" I asked as I caught a glance at the cover.

"What? I can't have a hobby?" he asked.

"You realise this guy is sitting here waiting for an answer," Pride stated but I wasn't paying that much attention, I was too focused on making my point and trying to get a sensible decision made before things got out of hand.

"And another thing, what makes you think that Ed won't get attached to this guy if they do start having sex with each other," I said. "You know what Ed's like; he's a hopeless romantic at heart and he gets attached too easily. How do you think he's going to feel when he ends up falling for this guy and he doesn't return his feelings?"

"And you know this is going to happen for a fact?" Lust asked folding her arms over her chest and raising a sceptical eyebrow at me.

"I do," I replied.

"Enlighten me."

"Because I know Ed!" I cried. "I know what he's like and how he reacts to things."

"Well maybe it's time we changed that," Lust said.

"Hey Envy," Gluttony said, appearing at my shoulder and tugging on the bottom of my shirt to get my attention.

"Not now Gluttony," I said brushing him off. "Grown-ups are talking."

"But Envy..." he said continuing his tugging.

"What?" I asked turning to him with a sigh.

"Pride's doing something on the Control Panel," he said pointing towards the Control Panel. I looked over and, sure enough, Pride was fiddling around with some buttons.

"What are you doing?" I asked, rushing over to him and gaping at him. He refused to take his eyes off the screen.

"He was sitting there waiting for Ed to say something and you guys were arguing so I thought I'd take matters into my own hands," he said as he hit the button to enter the sequence he had just typed in.

"What did you do?" I asked.

* * *

 _"No," Ed said shaking his head vehemently. "Of course that wouldn't be a problem, I'd be totally fine with it."_

 _"Wonderful," Roy said smiling. "Obviously we'd have to clear a few things up before we actually embark on something like this."_

 _"What do you mean?" Ed asked._

 _"We should set some... I suppose we could call them ground rules," Roy said._

 _"Okay..." Ed said nodding. Ground rules... they could work and that meant that he could set a few of his own as well. "What kind of thing are you thinking?"_

 _"Firstly I'd suggest that we have to communicate with each other," Roy said linking his fingers together and resting his chin on top of them. "If there's anything that you're not comfortable with then you have to tell me."_

 _"I can do that," Ed said._

 _"Because this is supposed to be a fun experience for both of us so if one of us isn't comfortable then there's no point," Roy said._

 _"Of course," Ed nodded. He couldn't quite work out how he felt about this. On the one hand what Roy was suggesting was an exciting prospect and Roy surely had a great deal more experience that Ed did but at the same time he knew that sex made things complicated and he didn't know if he was one of those people who could separate the act and the emotion._

 _"Anything you would like to set as a rule?" Roy asked. Ed thought for a moment. What did he want to set as a rule?_

 _"I'd prefer that, if we're going to do this then we use protection," Ed said. He could feel his face getting hotter and hotter with every word. God he sounded like a family planing clinic! "I'd prefer it if we used condoms."_

 _"That's perfectly fair," Roy said, nodding in agreement. "In fact that is probably a good rule to have."_

 _"Okay."_

 _"Another thing; I don't mind if you sleep with other people," Roy said. Ed blinked at him in surprise. He hadn't expected that. "I mean I'll still be sleeping with other people."_

 _"Oh..." Ed said softly, letting that sink in. "Right..."_

* * *

"No!" I said slamming my hands down on the edge of the Control Panel. "That's it I am putting a stop to this right now. Everything that he has said is just adding to what I've been saying all along that this is a really bad idea!"

"Will you change the fucking record already?" Greed snapped looking up from his magazine. I just shot him a glare in answer.

"Are we seriously not listening to the same conversation?" I asked turning to Lust. "This guy sounds like a dick; all he wants from Ed is a quick fuck and when he can't get it from him he will get it from someone else."

"Lots of people operate like this now," she said. "It's 2016; not that many people are interested in the conventional monogamous relationship."

"And what is wrong with wanting that?" I asked.

"But think about how much more Ed could have though," Greed said. "If he picked up some more confidence from being with this Roy guy then he could take that confidence and use it on other people."

"And you really see Ed as someone who sleeps around?" I asked. "You're not even part of this conversation so why are you even throwing your opinion around?"

"I'm a part of Ed too," Greed said. "So I have as much say in this decision as you do."

"He is right Envy," Lust said. "We all have a say in this decision and it would be good for Ed to get some more experiences and some confidence. He's been focusing on work so much lately, he could stand to have a bit more fun."

"Plus I've already said that Ed's alright with it," Pride stated.

"There is that too," Lust said.

I stared at her, then at Pride, then at Greed and then back to Lust again. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. They had to be mad to think that this was a good idea. What they were proposing was that we put Ed in a position where there was a very high chance that he would get really hurt. I knew that it was going to happen – there was no question about it. Ed would get attached and he would get hurt when it all came to a crashing end so why would they want to put him through that?

"So what are you saying?" I asked. "You actually think that this is a good idea?"

"Yeah," Greed shrugged.

"Why not?" Pride asked.

"If Ed doesn't take a few chances in life then he's going to be forever working and will become more and more disillusioned," Lust said.

"What about the rest of you?" I asked looking over at Wrath, Sloth and Gluttony. I wasn't holding out too much hope asking those three. Wrath didn't look up from his newspaper, which I took to be his answer. Sloth rolled over from his position on the floor so that his back was too me. I guess that's his answer...

"Too much effort!" he groaned.

"Always helpful Sloth," I muttered. I looked at Gluttony and I felt my hope sink even further into the floor.

"Is it lunch time yet?" he asked beaming at me.

"How do you function?" I asked him.

"Envy," Lust began. "Ed will be fine. We're all here to sort things out if need be and he could do with cutting loose every once in a while. He's had so much go wrong up till now – he needs a bit of fun."

"But..." I began.

"Envy this has already started," Wrath said, cutting me off and looking up from his paper. "Pride has already set the winds in motion and this decision looks as if it has already been made." I stared at him then back at Lust and each one of them in turn. They were all completely crazy! I sighed, defeated.

"Fine," I said, "but on your own heads be it."

* * *

 _"If you're still nervous or having any reservations why don't you come over to mine tomorrow night?" Roy asked. "We can talking about things some more, spend some time together and we could even have some fun if you want to."_

 _"Oh..." Ed said softly. Just from the look in his eye Ed could tell exactly what kind of 'fun' Roy meant._

 _"Obviously I have no intention of pushing you into anything you are uncomfortable with," Roy said. "This is all supposed to be about fun." He reached over and brushed Ed's fringe out of his eyes._

 _Every single time Roy touched him Ed could feel his heart begin to beat faster and his skin prickle where they touched. He wanted to chase that feeling. He wanted to feel Roy's hands on him, along with other parts of him. He wanted to feel Roy's lips on his and, for once in his life, he wanted to take a chance and do something crazy. He teased his bottom lip with his teeth and looked up at Roy seductively._

 _"Fun sounds like a good idea," he said. "So what time would you like me over?" He sounded much braver than he felt but he was determined that he was going to see this through to the end. Roy was stunning and he seemed to want him so he was going to give in and go for what he wanted for a change. A smirk spread over Roy's face._

 _"How does seven thirty sound to you?"_

* * *

"This is going to end so badly," I said, talking more to myself than to anyone else because I knew they wouldn't be listening.

"It will be fine," Lust said turning to smile sweetly at me. "I promise you."

"I don't believe you for a second," I told her.

"Listen everything is under control," she said. "I can handle this and it will be a brand new experience for Ed."

"I'll take your word for that," I said, not believing her for a second.


	3. Chapter 3

**At little psudo smut for your weekend, hope you enjoy :D**

Ever since I had been out-voted by the others in regards to Ed charging headlong down the sexual exploits road with Roy the six foot three beefcake everyone had been listening to me less and less than usual. Not that they had ever really listened to me in the first place but now I'd say something and it was like I hadn't even said anything. Admittedly I didn't actually have anything new to say so that could also be a factor. Maybe Greed was right; maybe I should change the record but I just wanted to keep Ed from getting hurt. Christ, things must be really bad if I was starting to agree with Greed...

"Are you alright Envy?" Lust asked grinning at me as she perched on the edge of the Control Panel. I glared at her and she poked me in the middle of the cheek. "Come on, where's that smile?"

"Shut it!" I said brushing her off.

"Come on Envy," she laughed. "Everything is going to be fine."

"If you say so," I mumbled folding my arms over my chest and turning away.

"Are you still sulking because you got out-voted the other day?" she asked.

"No," I muttered.

"Yes," Greed said as he walked passed.

"Shut the fuck up," I growled at him. Greed laughed.

"Told you," he said to Lust as he flopped down on the sofa and pulled his magazine out of his waistcoat pocket.

"I am not sulking!" I snapped. Lust chuckled.

"You're terrible," she told me.

"I'm just trying to be sensible," I mumbled.

"Look," she said "Ed's nearly at Roy's now so if you have any new concerns to bring to the table then now would be the time to voice them before we get to the proverbial point of no return as it were."

"It can't be seven thirty yet, can it?" I asked looking at the clock on the wall behind me. Sure enough it was already twenty past seven! I had been so busy trying to come up with some way to convince the others that they were wrong and I was right I had lost all track of time and now it was too late. "Ah balls!"

"Anything new?" she asked looking at me expectantly.

"This is..."

"A really bad idea," she finished me sentence for me. "I know. I'm asking if you have any genuine concerns about this."

"Ed getting hurt is a genuine concern," I said.

"Any different genuine concerns," she replied.

"Who is supposed to be the one in charge here?" I asked pouting. Honestly, I was supposed to be the one who had the final say in decisions like this so why was I suddenly being ignored all the time? Lust found the whole thing highly amusing... that bitch... I take back everything I said about getting on with her.

"Listen when was the last time Ed got some action that wasn't his own hand?" she asked. I thought about this for a moment... was it six month? A year? Was it over a year? Either the last time was not that memorable or it had been that long ago. When did he break up with the last one? Shit what was the last one called? Ling I think...

"Okay a while," I admitted breaking myself out of my train of thought. "But does that really mean that he was to get action from a guy who is just going to use him for sex and continue screwing around with other people?"

"Just because he's still going to be sleeping with other people doesn't mean that he's going to treat Ed badly," Lust said.

"And you know that for a fact?" I asked.

"Well no I don't," Lust admitted. "I have no way of knowing that for definite but it's worth a try; if we don't take the chance we'll never find out."

"Let's just see how this plays out," I said turning to the screen. Okay she was probably right but I still thought it was a bad idea and was going to end in flames. She smirked at me, knowing that she had won (for now at least).

"Yes," she said smugly, "let's."

* * *

 _Ed took a deep, steadying breath as he waited. He had rung Roy's doorbell so it was too late to turn back now. The entire walk over to Roy's house he had been turning the whole situation over and over in his head as he still had no idea what he was feeling. He was excited, nervous, filled with dread, aroused and wanted to throw up all at the same time. He heard footsteps approaching and he braced himself, summoning up as much courage as he could and attempted to look at least a little seductive._

 _The door opened and Ed's breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of Roy in low hanging jeans and a white button up shirt with a few more buttons undone that was strictly necessary. He suddenly felt very under-dressed (or over-dressed, he couldn't quite decide) but Roy didn't seem too bothered. He looked Ed up and down slowly, his eyes drinking in everything that was him before casually moving out of the way and signalling for Ed to come in._

 _"Evening," he said smoothly, closing the door behind the both of them._

 _"Hi," Ed said a little breathlessly._

 _"You look nice," Roy said taking a step towards Ed and backing him up against the wall of the hallway._

 _"Thank you," Ed replied. "You do too." He could feel heat creeping up the back of his neck. Roy was so close he could reach out a touch him if he wanted to although he was pretty sure that if he did his hands would be trembling. Roy leaned forward, leaning his forearm on the wall above Ed's head. Ed bit his lip and looked down at the ground. He would never admit it (because Winry always teased him for being on the short side for a guy his age) but he loved the fact that Roy towered over him. It made him feel small... owned._

 _Roy placed a finger under Ed's chin and tilted his head up so that he was looking into his eyes. He leaned down ever so slightly so that their lips were almost touching but not quite. Ed could smell Roy's aftershave and it was making his knees weak. He toyed with the idea of reaching up and grabbing hold of Roy's shirt to keep himself standing but he couldn't remove his hands from where he was bracing himself against the wall._

 _"Are you ready to have some fun?" Roy asked softly._

 _"Yeah," Ed said on an out-breath. He knew that if he tried to actually speak then his voice would probably fail him. Roy smirked and closed the distance between them pressing their lips together in a gentle but heated kiss._

* * *

"Well he didn't waste any time," I said rolling my eyes.

"Would you if you had a hot little piece like Ed offered up to you?" Greed asked. A breathy moan filled the room.

"And I think that is is my cue to leave," I said getting to my feet.

"Aww don't you want to stay and watch the show?" Lust asked cackling.

"No thank you," I replied.

"Gaaaaaaaay!" Greed cat-called not looking up from his magazine. I sighed and fixed him with the most incredulous stare I could manage while also fighting the desire to punch him in the face.

"I'm really not in the mood to see Mr Washboard-Abs without a shirt on," I said nodding my head in the direction of the screen.

"That didn't come out sounding like as much of an insult as I think you wanted it to be," Lust smirked slipping into the seat I had just vacated.

"Urgh I'm tired," I mumbled. It was a lame excuse and I knew that they could all see through it but I had clearly failed with that insult and I didn't want to admit it. "I'm really not up to insulting people today."

"Feeble excuse," Pride said as he trotted passed.

"Shut up," I mumbled. "I need a break and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to be around when things start getting put in places and clothes start coming off."

"Your loss," Lust shrugged turning back to the screen as a very audible moan that was definitely Ed's filled the room. I looked up at the screen and saw Roy licking a path down Ed's exposed chest, his own shirt also open and hanging lazily off his shoulders, the look in his eyes hungry and deeply aroused.

"Oh god," I groaned looking away. I didn't need to see that!"

"Then by all means, you don't have to stay," Lust said.

"Are you taking over then?" I asked.

"Why not?" she shrugged. "You clearly don't want to be piloting right now and I doubt you'd even know what to do if you were. It's about time I got to actually do something and have some fun with Ed." That sounded ominous. I could probably guess what she meant by fun; I had seen her porn collection which housed most of Ed's secret fetishes. Very quickly I felt the need to stay and try to at least prevent Ed from getting tied and blindfolded (or more depending on what kind of kinky shit Roy was into).

"Over my dead body!" I cried. Now that I thought about it more there was no way that I was going to let her pilot solo on this one – Ed could end up with a reputation as a raging slut depending on how much Roy liked to discuss his sexual conquests with his friends. Rumours tended to travel fast on this campus.

"Do you want to stay?" she asked smirking at me knowing full well that I didn't.

"Well..."

"Do you want to stay; yes or no?" she asked again.

"Okay fine," I admitted. "Not really."

"Then butt out," she told me turning back to look at the screen. "I'm busy."

"You're terrible," I said shaking my head knowing exactly what she meant by 'busy'. 'Busy' meant she was concocting something that would probably, at some point, involve recording this whole experience to store in the 'Wank Bank' for Ed to relive it later.

"I know," she replied completely non perturbed. She cast a glance over her shoulder. "Oh Pride would you be a dear and come give me a hand."

"With what?" he asked, moodily looking up from the handheld game he was playing. Clearly he wasn't too happy with having to work in a situation like this... much like any of the rest of us.

"I think Ed is going to need your stubbornness at some point tonight for a little while and I think it's going to be soon," she said.

"I am not stubborn," he said.

"Yes you are," I stated. He shot a glare my way before turning back to Lust and sighed heavily.

"So what do you need me for?" he asked.

"Take a look," she said.

"Do I have to?" he asked grimacing. Lust smirked. She always enjoyed dealing with Ed's sex life and she always revelled in just how uncomfortable it made the rest of us. On the one hand it made me uncomfortable because that wasn't my job; Ed's sex life was her job, the rest of us had our own other shit to do and I would have absolutely no clue what I was supposed to do if I even tried. On the other hand hearing Ed have sex was like what I imagined seeing or hearing a relative have sex would be like.

"Humour me," she said. Pride rolled his eyes but turned to the screen anyway. I didn't fancy looking as I was pretty sure what I would see and there wouldn't be anything happening that wouldn't make me even more uncomfortable.

" _So_ ," Roy's voice said, sounding smug and dripping desire, " _have you had enough yet?_ " I made a mental note that if I could still hear them then I would pick up some headphones and blast music as loud as was physically possible.

"Say what?" Pride asked calmly (more calmly than I expected him to).

"I believe he just asked Ed a question," Lust said smirking at him smugly, knowing that she had won and had secured his help for the moment. "Well," she began when Pride failed to say anything "has he?"

"Oh hell no!" Pride exclaimed going over to the Control Panel where he began fiddling with buttons. "We're not even close to done here."

"I knew you'd warm up to helping eventually," Lust said, triumphantly.

"Whatever," Pride huffed. "But if you start rubbing one off then I am out of here."

"I will leave you guys to it then," I said.

"Okay bye," Lust sang smiling sweetly at me over her shoulder. Pride waved me off without turning around.

"Yeah whatever."

I rolled my eyes and went back to my bunk. It had been a while since I had spent any significant amount of time there (probably not since the last time Ed had had sex seeing as the rest of the time I only ever stayed there for short breathers.) I made myself comfortable in a cocoon of pillows and blankets and pulled out both my book and my headphones. I turned the music up as loud as I could stand it in order to block out the sounds of moaning and panting. If I couldn't hear it then I could pretend that it wasn't happening.

That was easier said than done. I had forgotten just how difficult it was to do anything while Ed was having sex, especially if it was particularly good sex. I tried to concentrate on what I was reading but my head was getting more and more foggy and the words were starting to blur together on the page. Whenever Ed had sex with another person rather than just jerking off it would often build up to a point where that was all he could focus on. Depending on how good the other person was it would get to a point where it was all we could focus on too. By the tingling feeling rushing through my entire body I would be surprised if Ed would even be able to remember his own name by the end of this.

I sighed, putting my book down and resigning myself to the fact that I wasn't going to get anything done while that was going on. I thought for a moment before I exhaled and slipped my hand underneath my clothes and began to pump my cock – I might as well do something until it was over. When Ed had sex this good it was almost like a pull; like I couldn't help it. I practically had to jerk off or there was no way I was going to be able to regain my sanity. Thankfully there was no one around to see me (more than likely because they all off doing the same thing) and there was no one around to give me shit for it.

I allowed myself to ride the high until I felt the rush of climax coursing through both me and the whole of Ed's body. Thank god; now I could think properly again! It was never quite like that when it was just Ed getting himself off and I don't think it's ever been quite as debilitating as it was with Roy. So maybe Lust was right; maybe it would be good for Ed to have a few more nights like this because I did feel incredibly at ease and if I was feeling this lucid then Ed probably felt a if he didn't have any bones left.

I placed my hand to my forehead and let out a long steadying breath. No, that train of thought was a really bad path to go down. As good as the sex was if Ed got too attached to Roy and Roy didn't return his feelings then Ed was going to be hurt and I didn't want that to happen. Ed was my responsibility and everything in me was telling me that this was still one of the worst ideas we had ever had.


	4. Chapter 4

**Woo next chapter! woo I've been at work all day! Enjoy :D**

 _"It's so nice to have a proper catch up with you," Winry told Ed as she stirred her coffee. "I haven't seen you in ages!"_

 _"Yeah I'm sorry," Ed said rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "I've been really busy with work and stuff recently."_

 _"Work?" Winry asked raising an eyebrow and smirking at him. He knew that she could see right through him and knew exactly why he hadn't been around much recently._

 _"I've had a lot of essays," Ed said lamely._

 _"And?"_

 _"Okay and other things," Ed grinned after a pause, thinking of the last time he had gone over to Roy's house for some fun. Winry giggled, her eyes lighting up as she realised what was going through his mind._

 _"I see that sly little grin going on there," she said smirking. "Edward Elric what are you thinking about?"_

 _"Nothing," Ed lied._

 _"Yeah right," Winry laughed. "I know you better than that. You've been MIA for ages now and I'm pretty sure that work isn't the only reason." Ed just grinned and took another sip of his coffee. She could speculate and guess all she liked, he didn't actually have to tell her anything if he didn't want to._

 _"Then enlighten me," he said._

 _"How's it going riding the Mustang?" she asked, changing tact. Ed's face turned bright red and he spluttered into his coffee, which Winry thought was hilarious. "That's what I thought," she said triumphantly._

 _"Oh shut up," Ed mumbled looking away._

 _"So how is it?" she asked after a pause. Ed bit his lip as he thought about Roy. Fuck! The last time they had been together was amazing! Roy had tied him up, blindfolded and gagged him and kept him on edge, pushing him closer and closer to the brink, for about an hour before he finally fucked him and allowed him to cum. Just the thought of it was enough to make his cock twitch. He often wished that he and Roy could get together every night because it wasn't just the sex, he enjoyed spending time with Roy too._

 _He couldn't though. There were only certain times he and Roy were able to get together. More often than not it was because one or both of them had work but there would be times when Roy had plans with the other people he was sleeping with. He would never say that that was the reason why he couldn't see him but Ed knew that was the reason. He never knew for certain but there was a niggling paranoia that was always there when Roy said he was busy._

 _When he was with Roy it was amazing; the sex was unlike anything Ed had ever experienced in his life (and that was without Roy's course of 'BDSM for Beginners'). Roy was attentive, fun, good conversation and he made Ed feel like he was the only person in the entire world. Problem was he knew that he wasn't. Ed knew that when they weren't together Roy was off making someone else feel like that._

 _"It's great," he said finally._

 _"Just great?" Winry asked sceptically. Ed gave her a tight lipped smile and shrugged, fiddling with the empty sugar sachet for something to do with his hands._

 _"Don't know what else to tell you that isn't super personal," he said._

 _"We always tell each other super personal stuff!" Winry pointed out._

 _"Yeah... well..."_

 _"Listen Ed 'great' is what you use to describe a sandwich, the weather or as a response to a shitty remake of a classic film not months of screaming orgasms with a guy as hot as Roy," she stated. Ed sighed._

 _"Okay the sex is more than great," he said. "It's the best sex I've ever had in my entire life..."_

 _"But? Winry asked. "You looked like there was going to be a 'but' on the end of that sentence there."_

 _"I told you about the whole 'we're just sex buddies this isn't a real relationship' agreement right?"_

 _"Yeah." Winry nodded._

 _"Thing is I was sort of okay with that at first but then the more we got together the more things started to change," he told her._

 _"What do you mean by change?" she asked. "This is beginning to sound more and more ominous."_

 _"Well it started off when he came round mine for sex once and he stayed the night," Ed explained. "The first couple of times I had gone to his he dropped me home after we were done cause we had stuff to do the next day. Then once he stayed the night and he started always staying the night. He also started asking me to hang out normally and then us hanging out started to feel more and more like dates."_

 _"Well that doesn't sound too bad," Winry said._

 _"Not when it's put like that," Ed said shrugging. "It's just he's been treating me like a boyfriend."_

 _"But... he's still sleeping with other people?" Winry asked. Ed sighed. He didn't want to admit it, because it felt ridiculous that he had gone and fallen for the one guy that he shouldn't have done, but that was precisely the problem._

* * *

"Come on this is Winry," I said as Pride fiddled around with buttons and keys. "Ed's known her since he was a kid, he can tell her anything."

"No," Pride firmly, not taking his eyes off the Control Panel.

"Why not?" I huffed crossing my arms over my chest. Why did he have to be so difficult about this? Ed had needed to talk to someone about this whole thing with Roy for so long and now he had the chance but Pride was going to be a stubborn bastard about it. If Ed continued to keep all of it bottled up inside and didn't talk to anyone about it then eventually he'd go crazy and have a breakdown.

"Because she doesn't need to know," he said.

"Yeah but surely it would be good for him to talk to someone about how he feels about everything," I said. "He's not happy about Roy fucking other people and he can't keep that shit bottled up forever or he'll go crazy."

"How do you know Ed's not happy about it?" Pride asked as he finished entering his sequence.

"I just do," I replied. It wasn't much of an answer but I had no other explanation. Whenever I thought about Roy with someone other than Ed I got this little stab of pain in my chest. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before and I couldn't describe it to myself, never mind trying to put it into words. It was like this dull, throbbing ache whenever I thought about Roy with someone else because why should he need anyone else? Wasn't Ed enough for him? He didn't need anyone else if he had Ed so why was he still chasing other people?

"Whatever," Pride said rolling his eyes and leaving. I turned back to the screen, folding my arms and resting them on the end of the Control Panel. I sighed. Whenever I felt that stab I spent the next twenty minutes feeling hollow and over-thinking everything. This was turning out to suck more than I had first thought it would but, as usual, I seemed to be the only one feeling the effects of it... well and Ed of course.

* * *

 _"Have you got time to come back for a film at mine or something or do you have to go shoot off?" Winry asked when they had finished their coffee. She placed her empty cup on the tray along with the rest of their crockery._

 _"Nope," Ed smiled. "Got the rest of the day to hang out with you and do all the dumb shit we've missed over the last couple of months." Both of them got to their feet and began to pull on jackets. Ed felt so at ease being with Winry; he didn't have to worry about accidentally letting something slip that maybe he shouldn't. He could just tell her things and didn't have to worry that everything was going to come to a crashing halt._

 _"Good because I've got a whole list of videos I need to show you," she grinned._

 _"Are they all filled with cats?" Ed asked raising an eyebrow and looking at her sceptically as he placed their tray in the rack marked 'Self-Clear'._

 _"No," Winry replied. "Some of them are filled with dicks."_

 _"You're terrible," Ed told her._

 _"You love me," she laughed as she pushed the door of the coffee shop open and they stepped out into the afternoon sun._

 _"You sure about that," Ed muttered pulling out his phone to check the time. He also wanted to see if he had a text from Roy. He had told him that he was going to be spending the day with Winry but he still liked to see if Roy had sent him a message. Whenever he saw Roy's name light up on the screen he felt a little rush and a bit light headed. This was mostly because it would either be a message asking Ed if he wanted to meet up for dinner (and more), a not safe for work message or, occasionally if Ed was lucky, it would be a picture that made his mouth water. Unfortunately there was nothing and Ed couldn't deny that he was a little disappointed._

 _"Hey," Winry said suddenly, breaking him out of his thoughts. He put his phone away and looked at her. "Isn't that Roy over there?"_

 _"Where?" Ed asked._

 _"In front of the florist," Winry said pointing across the road. Ed looked over to where she was pointing and, sure enough, there stood Roy. "I wonder if he's seen you."_

 _"I don't think so," Ed said._

 _"Shall I call him over?" Winry asked. "He might like to see you."_

 _"Wait..." Ed said as a pretty girl walked up to Roy. She had long, dark, wavy hair that was tied back into a ponytail and she was quite tall – taller than Ed, he realised with a small pang of jealousy. Ed watched as the girl went up to Roy and hugged him._

 _"Probably just a friend?" Winry asked, trying to make him feel better. Roy smiled at the woman before he placed a hand on her cheek and leaned down to kiss her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. "Maybe not..." Winry turned to Ed who was staring at the scene in front of him, transfixed. "Ed are you okay?"_

* * *

"Envy..." Lust said as I stared at the image on the screen as Roy wrapped his arms around the woman's waist. "Envy are you alright?"

"No," I said to myself, my voice coming out more as breath than as word. "No fucking way!"

I couldn't believe what was happening. Watching Roy kissing that woman was like having one of Ed's worst fears coming true right in front of him. She was taller, older and probably way more experienced that he was. My head was spinning and my chest was getting tighter. Actually seeing Roy with someone else rather than just thinking about it made that stabbing pain start up again but this time stronger. Before Ed had actually seen it it was just a mild worry, now it was painfully real. It was getting harder and harder to breath and all I could do was stare at the screen, tears beginning to prick the corners of my eyes.

"Envy..." Lust said again.

I couldn't answer. All I could do was stand there and watch as Roy pulled away, took the woman's hand and they walked away together. My entire body felt as if it had been plunged into freezing cold water; like there were thousands of needles stabbing me all over. My chest was so tight I could barely draw breath and I felt that if I tried to move I would pass out my head was so fuzzy.

Why though?

Why did Roy have to be fucking other people? Why wasn't Ed enough for him?

* * *

 _"Ed..." Winry said. "Ed are you okay?"_

 _Even though it had been a good couple of minutes since Roy and the woman he was with had walked away Ed was still staring at the place they had been. It had seemed as if he had gone into some kind of catatonic state, unable to do anything but desperately try to process what he had just seen and Winry had no idea how she was going to break him out of it. She gently placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped slightly. At least he was still in there..._

 _"Ed... say something..."_

* * *

"One of us is going to have to to do something," Lust said looking at the screen and then looking at me. "He's completely out of it and Ed hasn't said a word in too long."

It didn't even feel as if she was talking about me; I didn't even feel as if I was even there anymore. It was like I was separate from my body, watching everything through a really grainy monitor with poor sound quality. Everything felt so fuzzy, like my head was underwater. I was feeling too many things I had never felt before and had no way to describe because this was all brand new to me.

"Right I'm taking over," Pride said.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Lust asked.

"One of us has to do something," Pride replied. "Envy's out of it and I think he'd be really pissed if one of the others took over right now." For once I actually agreed with him. If anyone was going to take over and resolve this situation right now it had to be either him or Lust (or maybe Wrath but he was still reading the paper and wasn't going to be getting up anytime soon) and I would have said so if I had the capacity to agree.

"Yes but..." Lust began.

"We can't just leave Ed standing there like this," Pride stated. Lust thought about that for a moment.

"Fine," she said. "There's nothing I can do in this instance."

"Okay," Pride said and began frantically typing in a sequence on the Control Panel. I just stood there uselessly.

* * *

 _"Ed..." Winry said giving his shoulder a gentle shake, trying one last attempt to get him back to normal. Ed shook his head._

 _"Sorry..." he said, his voice cracking from the lack of use. He took a deep breath trying to steady himself. Fuck! He hadn't expected it to hit him so hard. Seeing Roy with someone else had been like a punch to the gut. It hadn't seemed real up until that moment when he had leaned down and kissed her; then it had hit home that it wasn't just this niggling paranoia – Roy actually was sleeping with other people when they weren't together. That had hurt more than Ed had expected it to because now it felt real._

 _"Are you alright?" Winry asked. Was he? He didn't know. Everything seemed to be hitting him all at once and he had no idea how to deal with it. The best that he could do in this situation was push it down as far as he could, not let her know that he was that fucked up about it and try to deal with it later._

 _"Yeah I'm fine," he lied. He smiled at her as if to prove his point but he could tell that Winry wasn't buying it for a second._


	5. Chapter 5

**Doing this in a public library because I no longer have any real internet access :D hope you enjoy**

 _The image of Roy kissing that woman seemed to be permanently burned into Ed's brain. Every time he closed his eyes he could see them together and then the kissing lead to fucking regardless of how hard Ed tried not to think about it. He hadn't had a message from Roy since then and he hadn't sent one to him either. Roy would text him when he wanted him... or so he thought but he wasn't sure anymore._

 _That thought was painful too. He had thought that imagining Roy with other people was the worst that it could get and then he had actually seen it. That left this stinging hollow feeling in his chest and not hearing from him only made that pain worse. He felt as if everything between them had been one big lie up until then; all the tender looks, the nights where they would just spend time together before having amazing sex and Roy telling him that he was perfect. That had all been a lie... but then again it had never been real to begin with._

 _Winry had been an absolute champion trying to take Ed's mind off things and, while he was with her, it had worked. As soon as Ed had left and he was on his own he hadn't been able to think about anything else. He thought that he wanted to confront Roy about it but he knew that actually doing that would only make things worse. He knew what Roy's argument would be; they weren't in a relationship so it shouldn't matter if he was sleeping with other people._

 _Ed was thinking about all this as he left campus one afternoon. He was leaving through the deserted route, round the back of the library so that he wouldn't bump into anyone he knew, blaring the saddest songs he had on his playlist into his ears and playing everything over and over in his mind. He knew it was unhealthy but it seemed to be some unstoppable record playing over and over that had a soundtrack of Damien Rice and Sam Smith. It got so bad he had to stop, leaning against a tree and placing a hand over his eyes trying to control his breathing. He had to calm himself down before he ended up giving himself a panic attack._

 _A hand came done on Ed's shoulder and he jumped, turning round wildly. He had thought that he was alone and he had been thankful for that. He hadn't wanted anyone to witness this at all! It was bad enough that he was feeling this awful but having someone see it would be too embarrassing! He turned and found himself face to face with Roy. Fuck! This was not what he had wanted at all. Roy smirked down at him, clearly oblivious to the fact that Ed was having a breakdown as he reached over and pulled Ed's headphones out of his ears._

 _"Hello stranger," he said, his voice soft and silky. Ed swallowed, fighting against the desire bubbling up inside him. He had to keep a hold of himself and not allow himself to be swayed by the fact that Roy's voice did funny things to him. Roy brushed Ed's fringe out of his eyes, leaning in close to him. "Long time no see."_

 _"It hasn't been that long," Ed said softly._

 _"Too long since I've had that gorgeous body of yours writhing underneath me," Roy said leaning in close to Ed's ear. Ed shivered and he so desperately want to turn his head because his lips were centimetres from Roy's and it would be so easy to kiss him right now. He closed his eyes, ready to give into his desire, but as he did the image of Roy kissing that woman flashed through his mind. He pulled back quickly. Roy raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright?"_

 _"Who was that girl you were with the other day?" he asked. Shit! He hadn't meant for it to come out like that. He had wanted to build up to it rather than suddenly just blurting it out like an idiot._

 _"What are you talking about?" Roy asked. Please don't let him want to do it that way, Ed thought._

 _"The other day I was hanging out with Winry and she spotted you across the road, in front of the florist, and you were with this girl," Ed said, trying to make his thoughts as concise as possible._

 _"What did she look like?" Roy asked._

 _"Dark, wavy hair," Ed replied shrugging._

 _"That will be Rebecca then," Roy mused._

 _"There's more than one?!" Ed asked and he couldn't stop his voice from rising slightly in pitch._

 _"Well... yes," Roy said as if that was obvious. "There's a lot of people that I spend time with."_

 _"Yeah but does that time always involve kissing them?" Ed mumbled, looking away. He really should have thought that one through a little more and as soon as the words were out of his mouth he wished that he could take them back. Roy raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled. He seemed completely unperturbed by this._

 _"Not all of them," Roy said playing with a loose strand of Ed's hair. "Only the special ones have that privilege."_

 _"Guess that apparently makes me one of the special ones then," Ed said sarcastically. Roy smirked at him, still with that raised eyebrow, looking smug._

 _"If I didn't know any better I'd think you were actually bothered by this," Roy said. "Are you jealous?"_

* * *

"You know what I think Ed should just own up," I said.

"What?" Pride asked incredulously. "No way in hell!"

"Why not?" I asked. "That's what this is: Ed is jealous. Do you not feel it every single that time that Ed thinks about Roy with someone else."

"And why the fuck should Ed tell him?" Pride asked. "If he's going to be a smug bastard about it then he doesn't deserve to know how Ed really feels."

"What is lying about his feeling going to achieve?" I asked. "If anything it's going to make things worse because if Roy doesn't know how Ed feels then he's just going to keep doing it and things will get worse."

"Fuck him!" Pride cried. "He doesn't deserve to know and telling him is just going to make Ed look weak."

"What the fuck do you even mean?" I asked.

"What is going to be worse for Ed?" he countered. "Roy knowing nothing and they just carry on as before or him knowing that Ed is jealous and pitying him."

"You don't know that he's going to pity him," I said.

"Yes I do, that's how this work," he replied. "When Ed started this whole thing he said that he was fine with Roy sleeping with other people while they were in this weird pseudo-relationship..."

"And who's fault is that?" I asked staring at him incredulously. Pride glared at me.

"No one was doing anything!" he shouted at me. "I took matters into my own hands because you weren't doing anything!"

"Or you could have not!"

"Either way," Pride hissed. "Ed said he was fine with Roy fucking other people and if he goes back on that now then Roy is just going to pity him and Ed is going to feel worse than he already does."

"You don't know that!" I cried.

"Oh my god do you not get how people work?" Pride asked.

"I get how people work," I replied angrily. "I just think it would be better for everyone if Ed was just honest about his feelings as things will only get worse if he doesn't."

"You know what? I'm done talking about this," Pride stated.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he went over to the Control Panel and began typing in a sequence.

"I'm trying to salvage the situation before things get even more out of hand," he said. I stared at him for a second trying to process that, yes he actually was doing this. I jumped into action and ran to Pride's side, frantically typing in my own sequence in a desperate attempt to counter the sequence he was putting in.

"You're just going to make things harder for Ed," I told him.

"Will you leave it?" he shouted at me.

"Why don't you leave it?" I shouted back, both of us still typing frantically.

"I'm trying to help Ed and stop him from getting hurt!" I told him. Pride glared at me, stopping typing for a brief second.

"And you think I'm not?" he asked.

"I think you're being stubborn and you can't see the big picture here," I said, also stopping typing.

"Take a look at yourself why don't you!" he shot back. We were squaring up to each other, barely taking any notice of anything other than glaring at each other and holding our ground until the other one backed the fuck down.

"Look you know I'm right so why don't you just leave me alone and let me do my job?!" both of us shouted at each other in unison slamming our hands down on the Control Panel at the same time. A ping sounded, signalling that a sequence had been sent, and both of us looked at the screen and then at our hands. Both of them were on the key that entered our sequences meaning both of our sequences had been sent at the exact same time.

"Shit!"

* * *

 _"No, I'm not jealous!" Ed said but it was clear, even to himself, that he was lying. Roy snorted derisively._

 _"Oh of course your not," he said smirking._

 _"Look I said I'm not so I'm not," Ed snapped. "Can we just drop the subject?"_

 _"I'd let the subject drop if you weren't so blatantly jealous and lying to me about it," Roy stated._

 _"Okay so what if I am jealous?" Ed asked sarcastically. "Does it matter to you? It's not like it's going to change anything."_

 _"Excuse me?" Roy asked raising an eyebrow at him._

 _"Even if I was a little bit jealous, which I'm not," Ed added. "You're not going to stop sleeping with her just because of me. Because, let's face you, I'm hardly that fucking special to you."_

 _"That's quite an assumption there," Roy said._

 _"Then tell me I'm wrong," Ed shot back._

 _"Just because I'm sleeping with other people doesn't mean I don't care," Roy stated._

 _"Well it sure as hell doesn't feel like it!" Ed hissed. Roy sighed irritably._

 _"Listen, you knew the arrangement when we started this whole thing so why are you getting so high and mighty about it now?"_

* * *

"Oh no he fucking didn't!" Pride shouted glaring at the screen.

"I told you that this would happen!" I shouted at him.

"Are you really going to do this now?" he shouted. This was dissolving into a screaming match and it wasn't getting us anywhere. It was taking all of my energy not to just collapse from the weight of the hole ripping opening inside me as the pain and the jealousy began to get worse and worse.

"Will you both stop shouting at each other this is getting ridiculous and it is not getting anyone anywhere," Wrath said raising his voice so that he could be heard over the two of us. Both Pride and I turned to see him, standing fists clenched by his sides, shaking with the effort of holding in his rage. I blanched. I hadn't seen him this angry since Ed had come out to his father and it had resulted in another screaming match.

"Well why don't you get over here and give me a hand rather than just standing there," Pride said. "Have you not heard the way this guy has been speaking to Ed? Are you going to help or are you just going to let it slide?"

"Yes I've heard," Wrath said, his voice surprisingly steady, "and I can't work out what is more infuriating; him or the two of you squabbling like children."

"Just let them fight it out," Greed said from where he was stretched out on the sofa. "With any luck they'll kill each other and we won't have to listen to them bitching."

"Who the fuck asked you?" I snarled, glaring at him.

"If you're so unable to figure it out then why don't you come over here and do something about Roy," Pride said to Wrath. "That will certainly shut Envy up!"

"I'll thank you not to tell me what to do," Wrath told him, exhaling loudly. "Although as it is a means to an end then I will 'do something about it' as you put it." He rolled up his sleeves and came over to the Control Panel. He pushed Pride out of the way and began typing in sequences. I reached out to him, thinking about asking him to stop and think this through before it all got even worse but I pulled my hand back. He was so focused on his task I doubted he would listen to me even if I did.

* * *

 _"I was fine with it until you change the rules in the middle of the game," Ed snapped._

 _"What is that supposed to mean?" Roy asked._

 _"I mean we're supposed to just be friends who occasionally meet up and have sex, nothing more," Ed said. "Or haven't you realised that the way you've been treating me had completely changed!"_

 _"Apparently not because I have changed nothing about the way I act towards you," Roy said. "So why don't you enlighten me."_

 _"Fine," Ed said. "You told me you didn't want a relationship, and I was fine with that but they you start treating me like a fucking boyfriend and I don't know what to think! Make up your mind and tell me one way or the other; don't just go behind my back and fuck around with other people if you're going to treat me like I'm the only one."_

 _"I never went behind your back," Roy said angrily. "You knew what this was when we started so it's hardly as if I have been unfaithful to you."_

 _"Well I guess it's abundantly clear that you don't want me as a boyfriend despite how you've been acting," Ed said. He felt his voice catch in his throat as he spoke and tears began to prick the corners of his eyes but he just about managed to swallow them down. He would not allow Roy to see him fall apart; not when he was the cause of it._

 _"Well I guess it is then," Roy replied flatly. His words hit Ed like a blow to the stomach. He swallowed but he couldn't stop the tears from falling down his cheeks._

 _"Well I guess if I'm not your boyfriend then this isn't a break up and you don't have to feel guilty," he said softly. Roy scoffed and shook his head._

 _"I never lied to you about anything," he said. "You knew exactly how I felt when we began so you can't suddenly turn around and give me the third degree now."_

 _"Then I guess I'm just walking away," Ed said. Roy's face hardened and he glared down at him in contempt._

 _"If you're going to be that way, go then," he said._

 _"Fine," Ed said, his voice cracking. He turned and began to leave. There was a part of him that wanted Roy to stop him, to tell him that he was making a mistake and that he did care about him, but he knew that he wasn't going to. That only made the tears fall faster. If he had thought seeing Roy with someone else had hurt this was a whole new level of pain that he had never experienced before. He felt drained, he ached all over and all he wanted to do was make it home so that he could fall onto his bed, curl up under his duvet and just lie there until he stopped feeling so hollow._

* * *

"Well that was a total shit show," Greed stated.

"Shut up," I said softly. There was no anger in my voice because I couldn't muster up the energy to be angry. Everything seemed to be draining out of me as the rush of the pain Ed was feeling hit me with the force of a ten ton truck.

"So what do we do now?" Pride asked.

"Try to pick up the pieces," Lust replied. "Get Ed back on his feet and learn from our mistakes, I supposed."

"That is the only thing we can do," Wrath said going back over to his chair and picking up his newspaper.

"Maybe Envy was right," Sloth said from where he was sitting leaning on the front of the Control Panel so that he could see the screen but didn't have to see any of us. "This whole thing has been too much of a pain."

"Christ don't say that," Greed said. "If you tell him he was right he'll just be unbearable to live with."

"I don't think Envy's in right now," Pride said turning to look in my direction.

He was right. All I was doing was staring at the screen. I leaned forward onto the edge of the Control Panel trying to keep myself standing. All the fight had gone out of me and my energy was completely drained. I felt sick and like I was going to collapse under the weight of what just happened. I could feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes and, as much as I wanted to, I did not have the mental strength to tell any of them that I had known this was going to happen. Ed was falling apart and there was nothing I could do to help him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh lord Envy what are you doing... Envy no... Envy stop... Hope you guys all enjoy the brand new chapter :D**

I sat tapping my fingers against the edge of the Control Panel. Ed was asleep and so was everyone else. I had said that I would take Sleep Duty that night so that everyone else could get some rest because, go knows, I sure as hell wasn't getting any. It had been three days since Ed and Roy's argument and things had been shit to say the least. Most of the time Ed spent alone he had been in this little bubble of self-loathing and self-pity and the pure and simple fact that he had actually managed to get any sleep at all was a miracle.

I leaned forward, resting my arms on the Control Panel and rested my forehead on top of them. I sighed. I was exhausted but unable to sleep and I felt as if I was never going to feel whole again. This whole thing with Roy had me so fucked up. That hole in my chest was tearing open wider and wider every single time I thought about him with another person. When I closed my eyes all I could see was Roy locked in the passionate embrace of someone else. It didn't matter who, their face kept changing each time I closed my eyes.

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes as hard as I could, until colours flooded the insides of my eyelids, but it did nothing to stop the horrific display flashing through my mind. That hole was beginning to get bigger and bigger and that feeling like I was drowning, struggling for breath and heart pounding, began to get stronger. I opened my eyes hoping against hope that I could make the images disappear by bringing myself back to the real world. But they didn't.

To my horror I opened my eyes and I came face to face with the image of Roy, kissing that dark haired woman, plastered all over the screen. I nearly jumped out of my chair in surprise, letting out a gasp of pained surprise, thinking that I must have fallen asleep and lost a few hours and Ed went walkabout on his own. Then I realised that the edges of the image were blurred and I looked down at the Control Panel. Without realising it I had been leaning on some of the buttons and had caused Ed to begin dreaming about what I had been thinking about.

Fuck I'm such an idiot! I began frantically typing, desperately trying to erase what I had done. Problem was I had no idea what it was I had done to make Ed start dreaming about my insecurities. I had never done that before and I didn't know how to make it stop and all I seemed to be doing was making things worse and the kissing became more heated and clothes started to come off.

"Shit!" I muttered under my breath. At this rate everyone was going to wake up feeling this weird mix of pain, dread, fear and anger. I couldn't get a grip and I was beginning to panic more and more. I needed to do something but I didn't know what and the more I freaked out the worse Ed's dream seemed to be getting. Finally I realised the only thing I could do was type in a sequence in block capitals and send it immediately.

WAKE UP!

* * *

 _Ed jolted awake breathing heavily. Fuck! Now he was even dreaming about Roy with other people and couldn't get any respite from it at all. This was so fucked up! He placed a hand over his eyes and tried to calm himself down. He felt so pathetic and inferior. He had known that this relationship (if he could even call it that) was a bad idea from the start – deep down he had – but when Roy had kissed him everything had stopped mattering and he had given in. He knew that Roy didn't want commitment but that hadn't stopped him falling harder and faster and now he felt sick and couldn't stop picturing him with other people._

 _He looked over at the clock on the wall; it was only quarter to ten! He sighed and realised that he must have fallen asleep really early (or more likely just passed out from fatigue) and now he was just awake again. He rubbed his hand over his face. He should try and go back to sleep as his sleeping patterns were fucked enough as it was without adding this. He didn't feel like staying in the house though (especially as the last time he and Roy had been together it had been there) but he also didn't really feel like wandering around on his own and being inside his own head until he felt like trying to sleep again._

 _He picked up his phone and began to scroll through it. He knew exactly who's number he was looking for but he did have to stop for a second when he felt a twinge in his chest at the sight of Roy's number. He should just delete it but he couldn't quite bring himself to... not yet. He blinked away tears and continued scrolling until he found Winry's number. He pressed the call button and held the phone to his ear, hoping that she wasn't asleep._

 _"Ed?" Winry asked as she answered the phone. "Are you okay?"_

 _"Not fantastic," he admitted as a lump formed in his throat._

 _"What's up?"_

 _"Just can't stop thinking about Roy," he told her._

 _"Oh Ed..." she said softly and he could hear the pity in her voice. God he felt so pathetic! How was he this fucked up over it?_

 _"I'm sorry," he said, his voice cracking. "I know it's stupid and I shouldn't be bothering you with it..."_

 _No, please bother me!" Winry said cutting him off. "It's not stupid; you thought this guy was into you for more than just the sex but then he turned out to be a bastard and I wish there was more that I could do to help."_

 _"I just don't know what to do..." Ed said. She was right – he knew she was – but he felt ridiculous for taking this so hard when it wasn't even a break-up because they weren't even really together in the first place._

 _"What are you doing right now?" she asked._

 _"Nothing," he replied._

 _"Why don't we meet up at the SU then you can get out of the house and have some fun and hopefully we can make you forget all about Roy for a bit."_

 _"I don't know..." Ed said. Was going out and getting ridiculously drunk until he thought it was a good idea to call Roy a good idea? He would make an even bigger fool of himself than he already had if he did. He had to have some self-respect._

 _"You can't sit around wallowing forever Ed," Winry told him. "If you just get out of the house for a few hours you'd feel better. I promise you will."_

* * *

You know what? That sounds like a really good idea. All Ed had been doing for the last couple of days was sitting around the house and moping, trying to distract himself with work. Granted that was mostly my fault but now I was going to put things right. If he just got out of the house for a few hours then everything would be better. Not perfect but better. If Ed went and hung out with Winry for a few hours she would be able to get his mind off Roy and maybe even help him start to move on.

I would also really love it if I could get my mind off Roy too as he was starting to affect my mental state. I had never felt this shit before. Sure Ed occasionally got jealous (mostly of people taller than him) but it was never more than a passing niggle. This was debilitating, possessive jealousy and I hated that I was the one doing this to him. I hated how it was making me feel as well as I was pretty sure I was just slowly becoming less and less useful. Ed needed a break and so did I and Winry was offering the perfect outlet.

"Sure," I said to myself as I began to type a sequence into the Control Panel. "That sounds like a good idea." What could possibly go wrong?

* * *

 _The SU Bar was relatively full for a Wednesday night but Winry managed to find a secluded table for both her and Ed to use. She had gotten them drinks and had then began to grill Ed about what he had been doing since his and Roy's argument. When he said it out loud he was embarrassed by how much moping around he had been doing. This wasn't like him! He was usually much better at bouncing back when one of his relationships ended but this one had hit him much harder than he had expected too._

 _After a while Winry turned the conversation away from Roy and moved on to the kind of daft nonsense that they had always talked about. Ed found himself starting to relax. He hadn't felt this at ease in a long time. That might have been because of the alcohol (and Ed was definitely sure that it was helping) but just being able to get everything out was wonderful and being given something to focus on other than Roy was exactly what he needed._

 _"Thanks Winry," he said._

 _"What for?"_

 _"For getting me out of the house," he said shrugging. "For getting me to stop wallowing and actually rejoin the world."_

 _"That's what I'm here for," Winry said smiling._

 _"I know but still," Ed said. "I was being a useless slug person; you're fantastic and I love you."_

 _"Damn," Winry laughed. "How drunk are you?"_

 _"Apparently more than I thought," he replied. He nodded towards her empty glass. "Do you want another?"_

 _"Sure thing," she said._

 _"Okay, back in a second," Ed said getting to his feet._

 _He weaved his way through the bar, which was even more crowded now that it was getting later, until he reached the counter. There were a lot of people there so he resigned himself to the fact that he would have to wait for a while and looked around to see if he could see an emptier part where he could get served quicker. As he looked over towards one of the darker corners he saw something that made his world come to a juddering halt._

 _Across the room from where he was standing was Roy, locked in a passionate kiss with a tall, blond haired man, who seemed to be feeling the effects of Roy's talented tongue. Ed stared, unable to take his eyes off the scene in front of him. The blond haired man was clutching Roy's shirt as if it were a lifeline as Roy took his bottom lip between his teeth. Ed knew that move only too well. If was an incredibly erotic display and if it was anyone else it would have been a turn on but seeing Roy kissing someone else only made Ed feel sick._

* * *

No! No, no, no, no, no! This couldn't be happening again!

That hole was ripping itself open in my chest and tearing me apart from the inside out. My head was spinning and I couldn't breathe. Seeing Roy with yet another person who wasn't Ed was like torture. Why? Why was this happening? Why did Roy need anything other than Ed? Why did he need anyone else? Had he even bothered to wait a while after Ed had finished with him or had he just jumped into bed with his next willing participant. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! No this wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening.

I needed to stop the pain but my mind was reeling and I couldn't think straight. Fuelled by blind panic, as tears started falling down my face, I reached under the Control Panel to a locked cabinet. All I had to do was touch the door and the lock sprang open, I was in such a state. That had only ever happened once before; just after Ed's mother died. I reached in and pulled out a full bottle of whiskey. I knew that this was such a bad idea, deep down I did, but all I could think about was the feelings overwhelming me and I needed to do something to stop that hollow inferiority spreading through me. As I cracked open the bottle and began to neck it like it was water I saw Ed reached over the bar to buy his own bottle.

The feeling wasn't going away so I kept drinking (quite thankful that I at least seemed to be numbing to everything else). The world was starting to blur at the edges and I was pretty sure that Ed was slowly getting more and more hammered too. He seemed to be just about holding a conversation with Winry, who seemed to be getting more concerned the drunker he got. In reality though I couldn't actually tell anymore; half the bottle was gone and I was really starting to feel it. I doubted I'd even be able to stand.

"Envy?" Lust asked, switching on the light. "What's going on?" I groaned against the sudden onslaught of light and shielded my face with my hands.

"Turn the light off," I slurred looking up at her. She looked at the screen and then looked at the bottle in my hand.

"What did you do?" she asked. "What's happening?"

"Winry asked Ed if he wanted to go out for a drink and I thought it was a very good idea," I said.

"And you decided to join the party?" she asked.

"What the fuck is going on out here?" Pride asked before I could reply. Both he and Greed, who was just behind him, looked at the bottle in my hand as I took another swig.

"Fuck yeah, now it's a party!" Greed cackled.

"Greed this is serious," Lust snapped. "Envy's trashed." She grabbed the bottle out of my hand before I could take another swig.

"Hey!"

"That's enough," she said firmly. "Tell me what the hell is going on?" I opened my mouth to tell her but I stopped, my voice catching in my throat as the image of Roy kissing that man flashed through my mind.

"I saw Roy..." I sobbed, "with someone else." Lust sighed.

"Envy you need to snap out of this," she said.

"No what I need is another drink," I told her and tried to reach for the bottle.

"No you don't," she replied. "I've never seen you like this before; you're always the one who is so good at holding everything together. What has changed so much to make you fall apart like this? Is it just because you're jealous of seeing Roy with other people?"

"Why does he need anyone other than Ed?" I asked. I tried to stand but lost my footing and slipped to the floor. Lust put the bottle down on top of the Control Panel and tried to help me to my feet, before putting me back in the chair.

"Come on Envy, work with me," she said, "what's going on with you?"

"I live inside someone else's head, let's not delve into this too deeply," I replied. "I'm drunk! I'm fucked up and I'm drunk!"

"And Ed is going to end up paying the price for that," she muttered.

* * *

 _"I have to pee," Ed said suddenly, getting to his feet._

 _"Are you going to be alright?" Winry asked. "You're a little unsteady on your feet." Ed laughed and waved her off._

 _"I'll be fine," he said._

 _"If you're sure," Winry said and watched him stumble in the direction of the toilets._

 _Ed just about managed to stagger to the toilet without injuring himself too much. That felt like a massive accomplishment as he was so drunk he could barely see straight, never mind walk straight. More than anything he was glad that he didn't bump into Roy. He wasn't sure if he would be able to have a sensible conversation without breaking down and crying and that would be horrifically embarrassing. As long as he didn't speak to him when he was alone he would be fine; if he was with Winry she would be able to censor him if he fucked up too badly._

 _He began to make his way back to Winry but before he left the seclusion of the corridor with the toilets and into the crowded bar he ended up walking into someone tall with dark hair. Ed's stomach dropped as he looked up expecting to see Roy (because why wouldn't he bump into Roy when he was in this state?) The person he had bumped into turned round and Ed just about managed to make out Kimblee standing in front of him._

 _"Sorry," he slurred, blinking to try to get his vision to focus. It was really Kimblee in front of him, he was sure of it, but he had pounded through a lot of alcohol in the last half an hour so he could have been seeing anything. Kimblee looked Ed up and down and smirked._

 _"No harm done," he said reaching over and running his thumb over Ed's bottom lip. "Although if you really want to make it up to me, I can think of a few ways you can."_

 _Ed was stunned into silence as Kimblee leaned forward and pressed his lips to his. The way Kimblee kissed was nothing like Roy; it was forceful and demanding and Ed was unable to do anything to stop him. He was torn. He didn't really want Kimblee to be kissing him like this (or at all for that matter) but there was a tiny part of him that wanted Roy to walk out and see him with someone else, then he'd know what it felt like. He began to reach up to pull Kimblee closer but Kimblee reached down and gave his backside a harsh squeeze and Ed snapped back to himself, suddenly painfully sober._

 _He didn't know this guy – he had met him all of once and his first impression was that he was creepy and he didn't want to do this! With as much strength as he could he pushed Kimblee away, panting heavily and trembling. He couldn't look at him. He could feel Kimblee glaring down at him but he didn't want to look up and see the contempt for himself._

 _"I'm sorry," Ed muttered. "I can't..."_

 _"Come on," Kimblee said, tugging on the collar of Ed's shirt. "What's stopping you?"_

 _"I just can't..." Ed said._

 _"Come on," Kimblee said again, a little more forcefully, leaning in to suck on the side of Ed's neck. "I'll make it worth your while." Ed struggled against him but Kimblee was stronger and a lot less inebriated that he was so he was at a huge disadvantage._

 _"Please..." Ed said softly. He closed his eyes. There was nothing he could do to stop him and it seemed as if Kimblee was just going to be able to take what he wanted._

 _"Is there a problem here?" a familiar voice asked. Ed opened his eyes, gasping as his blood turned to ice. Kimblee stopped attacking his neck and looked at Roy over his shoulder. Ed couldn't work out if he was happy that he had been saved by Roy or if that made the whole situation ten times worse._

 _"No problem here," Kimblee said letting go of Ed and straightening his jacket before going back into the bar. "Don't know what you were on about Mustang; kid's a fucking prude anyway" he added tossing a look at Ed that was filled with contempt. Ed took a deep breath, almost hoping that Roy would just walk away at this point but he didn't._

 _"Are you alright?" Roy asked placing a hand on Ed's shoulder._

 _"I'm fine," Ed said brushing him off. This was quite possibly the worst situation he could be in; having Roy jump in and save him like that and find out that Roy had been talking about him to Kimblee of all people._

 _"Ed. You're not fine," Roy said. He was right, Ed was still trembling but he was too proud to say so he kept his mouth shut. "What were you doing messing around with him anyway?"_

 _"What are you jealous?" The words were out of Ed's mouth before he could stop them and he instantly wished that he hadn't said it. Roy glared at him._

 _"Really?" he asked sardonically. "I just save you from getting sexually assaulted and you're going to be like that?"_

 _"Well how do you expect me to be?" Ed asked._

 _"I expect you to be less of a fucking child about this but apparently that's too much to hope for," Roy replied._

* * *

"That fucking fucker," I slurred. "I'll fuck him up." I lurched towards the Control Panel but Greed grabbed me by the waist and stopped me.

"Easy man," he said dragging me backwards. "You carry on like that and you'll start a fist fight."

"So what?" I asked. "I don't care anymore."

"Yes you do," he said. "If Ed starts an unprovoked fight with this guy he could get expelled or arrested."

"I don't care," I slurred again. And I didn't. I was blinded by anger, jealously and alcohol. I really shouldn't have drunk so much but I had and I was beyond the point of making sense. I struggled against Greed's hold on me but he was a lot stronger than I was and I was too drunk to really put up too much of a fight. Having said that I was also way too stubborn to give up by that point.

"Yes you do," he said."You don't want to fuck things up for Ed any more than they already are."

"But someone needs to do something to this guy to make him feel the same kind of pain Ed is," I said.

"Mate, you are in no state to do anything right now," Greed said. He wasn't wrong – I was in no state to even stand on my own let alone do anything that would be in anyway useful never mind do anything that could actually help.

"I don't care," I said again and began struggling against his hold with renewed fervour as tears began to prick my eyes.

Greed's pleas for me to stop fell on deaf ears as all I could think about was doing something to make Roy realise just how much pain he had caused Ed. I had no idea how but, whether physical pain or mental anguish, I needed to do something to him. I wasn't thinking or paying attention to anything going on around me until I felt a stinging slap hit the side of my face.

I stopped struggling immediately and slowly held a hand up to my throbbing cheek and stared up at Lust. Her hand was still raised and I had no idea if she was going to hit me again. She stared down at me with cold, angry eyes and I suddenly felt small and stupid. I opened my mouth to say something but she cut me off.

"Don't say anything," she told me. "Just go to your bunk and sleep this off."

"But..."

"No," she said cutting me off again. "You are not fit to do anything to help this situation so it would be better for all of us if you just left."

"But..."

"I said go to your bunk until you've sobered up," she told me firmly.

Now I felt like a child being berated for acting out. I had been getting hysterical and it hadn't been the first time I had gotten into that kind of state but no matter how bad it had even been I had never gotten benched before. I felt myself sag in Greed's arms, all the fight finally going out of me, and I realised that she was right. I had fucked things up by getting as drunk as I had and there was nothing I could do to make it right again.

"Okay," I mumbled.

"Good," Lust said turning back to look at the screen. "Now I can fix some of the damage you've caused."

"Come on, mate," Greed said giving me a gentle tug and pulling me away.

"Okay," I replied. I was so broken I didn't even protest that it was Greed being the sensible one. I turned round to say something to Lust but I thought better of it. She was leaning against the Control Panel, hanging her head. She looked like she had enough to be dealing with and it was entirely my fault.

"Fuck!" she muttered before straightening up. "I don't think I can do this, I can't make a sensible decision right now."

"What are you on about?" Pride asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"Fuck! I can't do this, he's too hot," she said placing her hand over her eyes. She sighed. "Pride you take over."

"Okay," he said shrugging, after a pause. "Just don't blame me if it all goes to hell."

"Come on," Lust said taking my arm as she headed off in the direction of the sleeping bunks, dragging me along with her. "Let's go."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys, so there is a reason I wrote this story. About a year ago I ended up in a similar situation as Ed with a guy I knew from uni and it fucked me up because I have jealousy issues. So writing this was in a sense cathartic for me. I mean it wasn't the total explosion that it has been in this story but it was something I felt that I needed to address. Pretty much everything Envy says in this chapter is how I have felt at one point or another about the whole situation and I feel better now that it's out in the open and I can deal with it. So hope you enjoy :)**

It took me two days to properly get over the hangover that resulted from my little drinking binge. The following morning had been the worst. I spent most of my time dry heaving and crying (switching between crying about how shit I felt about Roy and crying about how shit I felt trying to throw up the contents of my empty stomach). By the weekend I had gotten over the worst of it and now I just felt awful because of everything that had happened. I spent most of my time alone in my bunk so I didn't have to talk to anyone. I couldn't face it, not yet anyway.

"Envy," Lust said knocking softly against the side of my bunk. I looked up to see her smiling at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. Lust let out a breathy laugh.

"Skooch over," she told me and I wriggled closer to the wall. When there was room she climbed in and lay down next to me. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," I said again shrugging. Lust took my hand, linking our fingers together.

"I'm sorry about what happened," she said giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I could feel my face heating up with embarrassment and I almost felt the residual pain in my cheek from where she had slapped me although that was days ago now.

"You did what you had to," I told her.

"That wasn't what I meant," she said. "I'm sorry things went the way they did. I thought it would have gone differently but I guess I wasn't thinking properly and was just focusing on the fact that a guy as gorgeous as Roy was interested in Ed."

"It's okay," I said. I no longer had the energy to say 'I told you so'. Lust sighed and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Envy you don't always have to be the strong one," she told me. "If you need to vent then vent. Don't keep it all inside otherwise we can't help you. Just talk to me please, don't keep shutting me out."

"I don't know what to say," I sighed. "I just need to figure out what's going on in my head and work things out myself.

"What do you mean?" Lust asked.

"When I can work out how I'm feeling and put it into words then I can do... something to make things right. I don't know," I said. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I had spent most of my time feeling awful and wallowing in self-pity so I had no idea how on earth I was going to claw my way back from this.

"Well don't take too long," she said. "We miss you."

"I've only been gone two days," I stated.

"Still," she smiled, "I never realised just how annoying Gluttony is."

"Just send him off with something shiny and he'll leave you alone," I said. She laughed softly.

"See this is why we need you," she told me.

"No you don't," I replied. "I've fucked up."

"Not as badly as you think you did," she said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Okay so what do you think you've done to fuck up so badly?" she asked.

"It's just..." I began trying to find the right words. I sighed. "I mean Ed's never been a jealous person. Sure there's occasionally people younger than him who are taller and sometimes it stings when Mother's Day rolls around but now every time I think about Roy with someone else I can't work out if I want to kill them or kill myself for being so fucking inferior."

"Oh Envy..." Lust said and I could feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes at the pity in her voice. This is why I hadn't wanted to talk about how I was feeling to anyone. This was something I needed to deal with on my own. No one could help me through it because I didn't even know how to make it stop. I needed to do this by myself.

"I'm sorry," I said wiping the tears before she saw them although I was pretty sure that she already had.

"It's okay," she said giving my hand a squeeze. "Are you up to coming out front yet?" she asked after a short pause.

"I don't know," I said. Was I ready? I didn't feel ready, not after I had made such a twat out of myself.

"You sure?" she asked. "It might do you good to be around friendly faces." I opened my mouth to answer but was cut off.

"Hey guys," Pride said sticking his head around the corner. "You might want to come outside and see this."

"Be out in a second," Lust told him and he left. She got to her feet and then held her hand out to me. "No time like the present."

"Okay," I mumbled. I took her hand and let her pull me to my feet as well. She fussed with my hair, trying to comb out some of the bed head before placing a hand on my cheek. "Is my face all red and gross?"

"Your eyes are a little puffy but otherwise you're good," she told me. I just about managed a smile as she took my hand and led me round the corner to face the others. "Alright Pride what are we looking at?"

"See for yourself," he said pointing at the screen. It was mostly filled with Ed's phone, the words 'Incoming Call from Roy Mustang' lighting up the screen.

"Oh shit..." I muttered.

* * *

 _"Hello," Ed answered the phone, voice trembling. He knew why Roy was calling him but it didn't mean that he wanted to have this conversation either way and he was deeply regretting picking up the phone._

 _"Ed," Roy said and his voice still made Ed's knees weak. Why? Why did he still have this affect on him when he knew what he was like._

 _"Yeah?" he said. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of his nose to stop himself from breaking down._

 _"Are you free at all today?" Roy asked. "I think you and I should meet up for a bit and talk."_

 _Lie._

 _It was the first thing that came to Ed's head. Lie and say that he was busy – he had classes, he had assignments, he had the dentist, anything – just don't meet up with Roy. He would want to talk about the other night and Ed already felt bad enough as it was. There was no need to open old wounds. He had made a complete idiot out of himself and he really didn't want a repeat performance. Getting into a blazing row with Roy after he had basically stopped Kimblee from pushing him into sex had not been his finest hour by any stretch of the imagination._

 _Having said that maybe he should agree to meet him. Now that he was sober he could try and repair some of the damage he had done while three sheets to the wind. He would be the bigger person and he would apologise for going off on one when Roy had helped him out. If Roy wanted to talk about the rest of what had gone on between them, however, then that might be a different story. He had no idea what he would say if Roy wanted to talk about that. What would he even say? 'Sorry I made everything worse, I caught feelings'? No, that would be stupid and Roy would probably just laugh at him._

 _"Yeah," he said finally, making a decision. "Yeah, I'm free."_

 _"Do you want to meet in, say, ten minute at Coffee Cube and we can talk?" Roy asked._

 _"Sure," Ed replied._

 _"Okay," Roy said. "Well I'll see you in ten minutes then."_

 _"See you soon," Ed said before hanging up the phone. He let out the breath he had been holding as he pressed his phone to his forehead and tried to stead his nerves._

 _"Fuck!"_

* * *

"Fuck!" I said under my breath. "I can't do this." I was about to turn and run back to my bunk – I couldn't do this, I couldn't face Roy or that gaping hole inside me that kept ripping more and more when I thought of him with someone else would actually tear me appart– but Lust grabbed my hand and stopped me before I could.

"Envy what are you doing? You can't leave," she told me.

"Please don't make me stay," I begged her. "I can't do this."

"Ed needs you right now," she said.

"No he doesn't," I replied. "I'll just fuck things up."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do!" I cried. "I'll just make a mess of things because I can't stop feeling like I'm dying and Ed doesn't need that."

"But surely there's a reason that you're feeling like that," she said.

"What are you talking about?"

"Okay so maybe Ed doesn't need this," she told me, "but he definitely feels it because you feel it."

"But he shouldn't have to," I said. He didn't! Why should Ed have to suffer because of my insecurities? This wasn't his fault and if I wasn't feeling this shitty about everything then he wouldn't either. I was so frustrated and I wanted to leave but she wasn't letting me go and I could feel myself starting to panic even more.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I can't do anything and I'm just holding him back when I'm like this," I said.

"Because you're fighting this too much."

"Lust please..." I began but she cut me off.

"Just accept it Envy," she said. "This is how you feel and it's shit and I'm sorry about that but this is how you feel."

"It happens to us all Envy," Wrath said folding his paper and placing it on his lap. "It's just something we have to learn to accept; these are our feelings and these do directly affect Ed because that is our job."

"But..."

"It's not always pleasant," he continued as if I hadn't spoken, "but we do what we have to do. We accept it, we pick ourselves up and we carry on."

"You learn from these things," Lust stated. "As long as you just accept that this is how you feel and don't keep it bottled up inside."

"How would I even begin to do that though?" I asked, my voice catching in my throat. Lust shrugged and gave me an encouraging smile.

"Talk," she said. "Just talk things through with people."

"Okay," I said rubbing my free hand over my face.

"And," she said taking my shoulders and turning me to face the screen to see Ed pushing open the door of Coffee Cube and spotting Roy sitting in the corner. "Now is as good a time as any." I sighed. I was really not ready for this.

* * *

 _"Hey," Ed said as he reached Roy's table._

 _"Hello," Roy said giving him a small smile. "How are you keeping?" Ed shrugged as he pulled out the chair opposite him and sat down._

 _"I've been better," he said. "You?"_

 _"I'm well thank you," Roy replied. "Would you like a drink?"_

 _"Sure," Ed shrugged._

 _"Coffee?"_

 _"Thanks. Could I get a mocha with a shot of peppermint?" Ed asked._

 _"Of course," Roy said. "I'll be back in a second." He left the table and suddenly Ed was left on his own to ponder his thoughts._

 _He fiddled with the hem of his shirt, pulling at the stitching, for want of something to do with his hands. He needed to do something so that he wouldn't just turn tail and run like a coward. He could feel himself trembling and he was suddenly beginning to wish that he had lied and said he was busy. Anything that would have given him longer than ten minutes to mentally prepare. He knew that he had to just take the plunge and get it over with. He had to be strong because putting it off would only make it worse._

 _After a couple of minutes Roy returned with two cups of coffee. He placed one of them in front of Ed before sitting down. Ed gave him a small smile before picking up the cup and taking a small sip. The taste of mint was strangely comforting and it made him feel at ease enough to actually speak._

 _"Thanks," he said._

 _"So," Roy said after taking a sip of his own coffee, "there seems as if there is a lot that we need to get out in the open._

 _"Yeah," Ed agreed._

 _"Do you want to start?" Roy asked when Ed made no move to say anything else._

 _"Um... okay.." he said having absolutely no idea how he was even going to put his thoughts into words._

* * *

"Where is he even going to start?" I asked. "I mean I've got a god-damn list of things that he needs to say."

"Then go through that," Lust said.

"But it's huge!" I cried

"Like my dick," Greed cackled. Both Lust and I turned to glare at him in unison. That was the last thing I needed – him making his stupid inappropriate jokes. He grinned before going over to the sofa and lying down with his magazine.

"I don't know how to begin," I said sighing with frustration.

"Just tell him how you feel," Lust said.

"I wouldn't bother," Pride stated. "It's not like Roy's done anything to deserve knowing how Ed feels."

"I will end you," Lust said scowling at him. Pride looked at her with a 'I'd like to see you try, bitch' expression on his face. She ignored him and turned back to me. "Just say something."

"But what would I even begin with?" I asked. "The fact that Roy said he didn't want a relationship, and that was fine but he treated Ed like he was something more than just a sex buddy so of course that was going to change things. Ed fell for him but because Roy thought everything was normal he just carried on as he was. So maybe Ed should have told him how he felt earlier, but that is its own issue, and maybe if he had then Roy could have just told him that he wasn't interested. Ed wouldn't have had to see him with other people and then I wouldn't be feeling like shit every time I thought about him and then Ed wouldn't feel like shit either."

"Then say that," Lust said after a pause.

* * *

 _"Okay so the truth of the matter is I got jealous," Ed said. "I didn't deal with it very well because I've never really felt like this before so I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I'm sorry I went off on one the other night."_

 _"That's quite alright," Roy said. "We both said some things in the heat of the moment without thinking."_

 _"I just thought, considering how you had been acting around me, that you wanted me for more than just sex," Ed said shrugging. "Maybe I was naïve or whatever but I thought that you might want more... like I did." No point holding back anything now._

 _"So you..."_

 _"I know I shouldn't have done," Ed cut Roy off mid sentence, "but I did. I fell for you and maybe I should have told you sooner but I just didn't want it to end because I knew that you weren't going to change your mind. When I saw you with that woman outside the florist and that guy in the bar I knew that I couldn't compete with either of them..."_

 _"That's not true," Roy said._

 _"Isn't it?" Ed asked. "If I had told you that I wanted more would you have said that you'd stop sleeping with other people?"_

 _"Ed..."_

 _"Have you ever felt just completely overwhelmed with jealousy?" he asked. His voice felt thick, as if it was trying to suffocate him. "Like you can't think about or do anything else because you're so focused on being jealous..."_

* * *

"...Because I have," I said, placing my hand on the Control Panel, "and it sucks. It felt like your heart is being ripped open and someone is shining this huge spotlight on your biggest insecurities for the whole world to see. It makes you hate yourself because it brings out the absolute worst side of yourself. It's there always waiting to rear its ugly head and just fuck you up in every single way you could even have imagined."

I could feel tears just running down my face. I no longer had the energy or the ability to hold them back anymore. My shoulders were shaking and I was surprised I could even speak. The Control Panel was like my life-line and it was the only thing keeping me on my feet. I took a shuddering breath, trying to calm myself down enough to continue, but I couldn't seem to hold it together. Racking sobs felt as if they were ripping my chest open and I could hardly breathe until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Lust. She gave me an encouraging smile and I felt just about able to carry on.

"You think that if you don't think about it then it will just go away and you think you're fine but then it comes back with a fucking vengeance," I continued. I felt a hand on my other shoulder and I turned to see Wrath standing behind me. I could feel myself becoming both more confident while at the same time still falling apart. I took another deep breath.

"I thought I could push it away and pretend like it wasn't there but it's part of me. This is just who I am," I said as Pride placed his hand on top of mine. "It's shit for you but it's even worse for me because this is my life."

Along with the others I felt Greed's hand on my back, Sloth's huge hand on my head and Gluttony wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt as if they were holding me together and if they ever let go then I would just break and I would never be able to piece myself together again. All I could do was cry and let them hold me together as I let every single shit feeling I had been bottling up inside overwhelm me.

* * *

 _"So that's it," Ed said sniffing and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "That is pretty much how I feel."_

 _"Ed..." Roy said and reached across the table to take Ed's hand but Ed pulled back. He didn't think he would be able to deal with Roy touching him. He got to his feet and took a deep breath._

 _"It's okay, you don't have to say anything," he said. "I know what you're going to say so it doesn't matter."_

 _"Ed..." Roy said again, still trying to reach out to him._

 _"Please don't," Ed said, his voice catching as the tears continued to fall. "Let's just leave it as that okay?" Before Roy could say anything else he turned and left. He didn't want Roy to stop him and he was thankful that he didn't because he didn't think he could keep his dignity or sanity if he did._


	8. Chapter 8

**So this is where the similarity between my situation and Ed's ends but I can't resist a good old fashioned happy ending. Thank you for all your reads and reviews and I hope you enjoy the final chapter :D**

It had been a couple of days since Ed had poured his heart out to Roy and I had admitted that I do actually get quite jealous about certain stuff and I was starting to feel like myself again. I was sleeping better, that awful gaping hole inside my chest seemed to have closed and Lust even mentioned that I was smiling a lot more. I felt better in myself too and I felt as if I could go back to doing my job and could actually do it properly again while I was at it. All in all I was pretty much back to normal.

Ed was back to himself too. He hadn't had an easy time of it but he was doing better than he had been. He had spent a couple of nights in with Winry, just hanging out not doing much, and that had been a huge help. He had also been quietly getting on with his essays when he didn't have class and wasn't reading, which was also taking his mind off Roy and everything to do with Roy. Basically back to normal.

"How are you doing Envy?" Lust asked giving my shoulder a squeeze as she came over to where I was sitting at the Control Panel.

"Yeah," I replied looking over my shoulder at her, smiling. "Pretty good."

"Good," she said. She wrapped her arms around my neck and rested her chin on my head. "What's Ed up to?"

"Essay work mostly," I replied.

"But his deadlines aren't for another month," she said.

"Yeah but Winry's working and he needs something to do rather than sit around reading Lord of the Rings for the eighth time," I told her. "Plus a month is nothing."

"Always the sensible one," she chuckled. I'm glad he's functioning like a normal human again," she added after a pause. I placed my hand on her arm.

"Me too," I replied.

"And I'm glad you're feeling better too," she said giving me a squeeze.

"Yeah me too," I said nodding. She laughed and ruffled my hair before pulling up another chair and sitting down next to me.

"Everything is back to normal," she said.

"It's only back to normal when..."

"Hey Envy," Gluttony interrupted, appearing behind us. "Is it lunch time yet?"

"Now everything is back to normal," I told her before turning to Gluttony. "Twenty minutes."

"Okay," he beamed happily and trotted off to go and bother Sloth.

"Okay now everything is back to normal," she chuckled.

"No more surprises," I replied.

* * *

 _Ed stretched until he felt his shoulders click. He had been working on his current essay for most of the morning and it was high time he took a break. He got to his feet and made his way over to the kitchen to start making himself something to eat. He wasn't sure what; he just knew that he was hungry. He was just about to open the fridge when a knock at the door caught his attention. He left the fridge and stuck his head out into the corridor and stared at the door._

 _The person on the other side knocked again and Ed realised that they weren't going away, meaning that it probably wasn't the Jehovah's Witnesses from three doors down who kept trying to convert him (they usually only knocked once and then gave up). It couldn't be Winry because she had to work until late and she said she would text him when she was done. There was no one else he was expecting. He made his way over to the door before he took a deep breath and opened it, expecting to come face to face with an annoying sales man. What he didn't expect was to see Roy on the other side._

* * *

"What was that you were saying about no more surprises?" Lust asked, grinning at me.

"Son of a bitch!" I groaned. "Can't we just shut the door in his face?"

"Let's see what he has to say first," she said.

"You're only saying that because you still think he's hot," I muttered turning back to the screen and crossing my arms over my chest.

"You say that like it's a surprise," she laughed, smirking and tossing her hair over her shoulder.

* * *

 _"Hey," Ed said a little breathlessly. Out of everyone who could have been on the other side of the door Roy was the last person he had expected to see._

 _"Hello," Roy said. "Can I come in?"_

 _"Sure," Ed shrugged after a pause. He stood aside so Roy could enter before closing the door behind him. "Do you want a coffee or something?"_

 _"That would be lovely," Roy said._

 _"Cool," Ed said and led Roy to the kitchen. He went to the fridge and pulled out a pint of milk. "Milk's..." he checked the date, opened it and gave it an experimental sniff, "not off."_

 _"Black will be fine thank you," Roy said._

 _"Probably a wise choice," Ed muttered as he replaced the milk and closed the fridge before going to fill the kettle with water. He switched it on and leaned against the counter, folding his arms over his chest and surveying Roy. He seemed almost nervous – nothing like the charming, confident Roy Ed was used to. "So what brings you all the way out to my neck of the wood?" he asked after the silence had stretched on for too long._

 _"I came here to apologise," Roy said._

 _"Oh!" Ed said softly. Whatever he had expected Roy to say that had been the absolute last thing on his list. "What for?" He thought that they were done with this and that he could just move on and get over it. He had started to try so why was Roy here now?_

 _"For making you feel the way you did," Roy said. "For treating you the way I did and for disregarding your feelings."_

 _"It's fine," Ed said shrugging as the kettle finished boiling. He turned away and started to spoon coffee into the cleanest mugs he could find to hand. "I mean I should have told you how I felt sooner then things wouldn't have gotten quite so fucked up. I mean even if you had known far be it from me to try and change you. I'm not..."_

 _"I've told them it's over," Roy cut him off. Ed stiffened as Roy placed his hand on top of Ed's and he could feel his body mere inches away from his._

 _"What?" he asked, his voice coming out as a breathy whisper._

 _"The others," Roy clarified. "I've told then that it's over; I'm not going to be sleeping with any of them anymore."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"Because there's someone that I want to have a real, serious relationship with," Roy said. He reached up with his other hand and brushed Ed's hair off his neck. "Not just fooling around and friends who have sex."_

 _"What?" Ed asked turning to face Roy with wide eyes. Had he actually just heard that right? Roy placed both his hands on the counter, either side of Ed, leaning in close to him._

 _"I want to have a relationship with you Ed," he said. "I've been doing a lot of thinking and I want you and only you. It just took me a little time to realise it."_

 _"And now you have?" Ed asked. He wasn't sure how to feel about this sudden revelation. There was a part of him that was so happy to hear Roy say that he wanted to be in a proper relationship with him but at the same time he was a little angry. It was just another example of Roy suddenly deciding that he wanted him and Ed didn't have the time for that._

 _"I realise how that must sound to you," Roy said, "but, if you'll let me, I can show you that I really am serious about this."_

 _"Roy..." Ed said softly as Roy reached up to brush his fringe out of his eyes._

 _"Ed," Roy said, "I'm crazy about you and I'll do everything I can to show you that."_

 _"But how do I know you're not just going to sleep around behind my back again?" Ed asked._

 _"I guess I'll just have to build up that trust again," Roy said. He cupped Ed's cheek and ran his thumb over his bottom lip._

 _"Stop it," Ed told him, taking hold of Roy's wrist but not doing anything to move his hand away. Just having Roy touch him was making him weak, having his saying that he wanted to be with him was bringing Ed's resolve closer to breaking point. "You're doing this on purpose."_

 _"Doing what?"_

 _"Making my head all fuzzy because you know I'll just agree with you," Ed replied. Roy chuckled._

 _"Okay I'll stop," he said. He went to remove his hand but Ed's grip on his wrist tightened, stopping him. He didn't know what he wanted but he knew that he didn't want Roy to stop touching him. "Ed..."_

 _"This is probably the most insane thing I have ever done," he said. "I mean I've always had this rule of 'never go back' but..."_

 _"You're going to give me a chance?" Roy asked, his face lighting up and a smile spreading across his lips._

 _"Prove to me that it's not all just talk," Ed told him._

 _"Believe me, I will," Roy replied before leaning down and softly kissing Ed's lips. Ed kissed back, letting go of Roy's wrist and wrapping his arms around his neck. Roy wrapped his arms around Ed's waist, pulling him closer as they kissed, as if he would never let him go again._

* * *

"You're terrible," I told Lust. She just grinned at me.

"Oh come on," she said. "You're happy about this too."

"If you say so," I replied.

"Roy makes Ed happy, you know he does," she added when I opened my mouth to protest, "and if he's willing to change then why not give him another chance?"

"And if he fucks someone else again?" I asked.

"Then you can tell me 'I told you so'," she said.

"You're terrible," I replied shaking my head.

* * *

 _"You're perfect," Roy said softly as he pulled back for air. He ran his thumb over Ed's bottom lip and Ed could feel his knees going weak. He wanted to give in to Roy and let him have his way with him on the nearest available surface but he also wanted to at least seem as if he had some self-control._

 _"Kettle will need boiling again," Ed said. Roy chuckled and the sound made Ed shiver slightly._

 _"Well," Roy said brushing Ed's fringe out of his eyes again, "how about we forget the coffee, I take you out to lunch and we can talk some more?"_

 _"That sounds good," Ed said smiling. He reached up, standing on his tip-toes and holding onto Roy for fear of falling over, so that he could pull him down into another kiss._

* * *

"See everything is going to work out just fine," Lust said.

"If you say so," I said, still sceptical.

"Trust me," she said. "Roy wants to make things right and he's going to keep trying to make things up to Ed and I say we let him."

"Especially if it's with big sweeping romantic gestures," Greed said. I stared over at him in confusion, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open in surprise. I could practically see the hearts beating in his eyes. He saw the look on my face and shrugged, grinning. "What? I can have a vested interest in this too?"

"I just never expected you to be such a hopeless romantic," I said. Greed just grinned at me and shrugged.

"I have hobbies," he stated.

"Hey guys," Pride pipped up from beside me. "Who's she?" Lust and I turned to look him. He was pointing at the screen and I looked up to see a tall woman walking towards Ed and Roy, waving.

* * *

 _"Roy!" a blonde woman walking towards them called, waving as she did. Ed looked up at Roy and saw him beaming at the woman._

 _"Riza!" he called back, also waving. Ed looked between the two of them, trying to work out from the limited information he had what was going on and who this woman was._

 _"Oh no..." he muttered softly to himself as his brain jumped to the most logical conclusion he had._

* * *

"What the hell?" I asked watching as Roy and the blonde woman embraced. It was a different kind of embrace from the last few times Ed had seen Roy getting it on with someone else but I still felt that twinge of jealousy spiking in my chest.

"I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation for this," Lust said.

"There better be," I growled, folding my arms over my chest and pouting, keeping my eyes on the screen.

* * *

 _"So I see you're as useless at introductions as ever Roy," the blonde woman said turning to Ed once she and Roy had finished greeting each other. Roy laughed and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment._

 _"Sorry," he said. "Riza this is Ed..."_

 _"The famous?" the woman, Riza, asked turning to smile at Ed._

 _"I'm famous?" Ed asked._

 _"Oh yes," Riza said, smiling conspiratorially. "Roy's told me all about you." Roy's cheeks turned pink and he cleared his throat nervously._

 _"That's funny," Ed replied, a slightly sardonic edge to his voice. "He hasn't mentioned you at all."_

 _"No he wouldn't have done because he's useless," Riza chuckled shooting a pointed look in Roy's direction. "Riza Hawkeye," she said extending her hand for Ed to shake._

 _"Ed Elric," he said. "So how do you know Roy?"_

 _"Oh we go way back," she said. "I've know Roy for years."_

 _"Oh..." Ed said. He hadn't been expecting that._

 _"Ed, this is my best friend, Riza," Roy said. "She keeps me in check."_

 _"Because you're not to be trusted on your own," Riza stated._

 _"You make me sound like I can't make sensible decisions unless supervised," Roy said._

 _"You can't," Riza replied. Ed chuckled._

 _"I'm sure you have quite a few embarrassing stories about him," he said._

 _"Of course," Riza laughed. Ed turned to smirk at Roy, a wicked gleam in his eyes, before turning back to Riza._

 _"You and I need to talk," he grinned. Riza grinned back at him. She placed her arm around Ed's shoulder and began leading him away._

 _"Well," she said, "there was this one time when we were sixteen when he..."_

 _"Hey wait for me!" Roy called, running after them to catch up and do damage control before Riza revealed something too embarrassing for words._

* * *

"See," Lust said, "I told you everything would be fine." I sighed and let my head fall down onto the edge of the Control Panel.

"This is going to take some getting used to," I said. I mean I know I was more willing to admit that I got jealous when I thought about Roy with other people and I was willing to give him a second chance not to hurt Ed again but it was going to be hard work.

I was going to be on edge for a while whenever I saw Roy with someone else, wondering if anything was going on. I would just have to make sure that I didn't let it interfere too much with his and Ed's relationship and I kept it under control. If I did then it should all be fine. Well theoretically... As I said; this was going to take a lot of getting used to.

"It will be worth it in the end," Lust said, grinning and clapping me on the shoulder. I looked up at her sceptically but smiled, realising that she was probably right. Ed had managed to get through this and, if he had to, then he could get through it again.

"If you fucking say so..."

THE END


End file.
